- "VLADIMIR POUTINE"
- —TJ "I love Communism" Kirk
Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin (born 7 October 1952) is the High King of Russia and one of numerous suitors to Gail Cord Schuler. He is a communist, fascist, anarchist, and nigger trying to destroy good old America. He is infamous for taking shirtless pictures doing things like riding horses or wrestling manatees. He has a well known Napoleon complex and is more concerned with staying in power than his people's future. Gail Chord Schuler claims him to be one of her suitors.
In early 2014, he succeeded in annexing Crimea to Russia, taking it away from from those lowly Ukrainians because Ukraine isn't protected by America and the EU. It was discussed during an early episode of Drunken Peasants. Many other stories related to Crimea were played in the early days of the News Segment, the dispute has yet to be settled as of 2016.
- He is a clone of Julius Caesar meant to compete with Obama.
- He was a former member of the KGB, but you can probably trust him.
- Putin has a harem of over 450 men. When he is not giving speeches or launching nukes at weaker countries, that is where he can be found.
- The French-Canadian dish, poutine, is named after him.
- Putin never wears shirt, shirt is usually added via Photoshop or by using his body double.
- He attended TJ's 30th birthday.
- He recently divorced his wife. This was likely to be with his true love.