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United States of America

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The Four Regions of the United States
"I'm becoming increasingly convinced that America is not a real country, but a satire of a country, that other countries watch to feel better about themselves."
TJ
The United States of America (or The United States of Merica') is the best nation to ever exist on the planet. It was founded by a bunch of 17th century motherfuckers. Conservative white/black folk live in the south and the liberal commies live up north. It was founded in 1976 B.C and has a population of 3,200,000,000. The current president dictator is Barack Obama, a member of the Kenyanist/Democratic party.

Major cities include Washington D.C., New York City, Boston, Chiraq, Los Angeles, Seattle, Phoenix, and Denver, the latter being in competition with Amsterdam for pan capital of the world.

Now, please rise for the United States' national panthem.

History

"You can say the founding fathers were wise but you cannot say their ideas were eternal. They were a bunch of 18th century motherfuckers."
—TJ Kirk, 2014

Birth of the God Land

The History Of America03:55

The History Of America

God created America 5,999 years ago. America was discovered in 667 AD by Jesus Christ himself. He came from Heaven to America by helicopter. The first thing he did was built the first church there, and was shortly attacked by Indians in the process. Jesus quickly equipped a M-16 and killed all of the 2,000,000 Indians with his 12 disciples and the pilgrims. After the war, Jesus and his followers built villages across the present-day nation and had monkey slaves everywhere doing work for the white people.

The Hundred Years' War

The history of the American Revolution01:02

The history of the American Revolution

In the 1600's, the king of England sent his army of faggots to try to reclaim America. Jesus and his army of clean white republicans defeated those faggots in about 3 Minutes. After the war, Jesus left and went back to heaven. After Jesus left, the people of America made George Bush or George Washington president of America. Shortly after, George Bush's friend Abe Lincoln freed the monkeys from their cages in like 1766 when he became president.

The World War Saga

Amp-039-merican-freedom o 1268287

In the 1940's, Adolf Hitler and Franklin D. Roosevelt were on the internet at 2:00 AM once and Adolf Hitler sent "lol ur a faggot come fite me". Roosevelt immediately sent his army to Nazi Germany, Italy and Japan to defeat them, and won in less than 1.5 Minutes.

The Communist Invasion

Somewhere in the mid 1900's, Jose Stallion and his Commie friends tried to destroy America with Cummunism. In response, Donald Raygun, the new president, fought 1v1 with Stallion and defeated him. He also destroyed most of Cummunism. In the 1960's, Martin Luther King wrote his 69th thesis that single handedly mixed the civilized clean white folk and dirty hoppin' blacksters together and ended segregaytion.

911

The Hour of Terror

On September 11, 2001, the World Trade Center in New York City was destroyed by Osama Bin Laden and his army of Monkeys/Kenyanists. The Kenyanists tried to take over America by electing Barack Obama as president, but thankfully they do not know the power of real Americans.

Future

In the year 2016 Scotty Kirk launched a mass coup on Washington DC, ultimately reforming the US into the UISA (United Imperial States of America) and installing himself as Kaiser.

Enclaves

Top 10 US-Backed Atrocities and Authoritarian Regimes32:32

Top 10 US-Backed Atrocities and Authoritarian Regimes

United Socialist States of Atheism

The USSA is an unrecognized micro-nation/city-state primarily made up of two enclaves, TJ's house and Ben's house.

It's capital, Kenyada, is located in TJ's garage.

United States of Manatees

The USM is an unrecognized micro-nation comprised of a park and Brett Keane's cardboard box and Van.

Little is known about the country, aside from its size (20 square meters) and the identity of its dictator, Brett Keane. It's capital is made up of Keane's cardboard box and a trash bin.

Laws there are numerous, including mandatory wife beating, never questioning Keane and giving him "charity money". As of late nobody follows the law except the Bread Queen.

It is currently in a cold war with the USSA, however it is expected to warm up with TJ boldly attacking Brett Keane's Family.

Americans

The people of America include the most intelligent men in the world, Ben, Scotty and TJ. But it also includes fucking retards like G Man, Brett Keane, CheDubs, Paul's Ego and ShannyIsMe.

Veterans

Nerds

War Veterans are heroes who defended the American dream by helping the US Government steal oil defend the world from other countries terrorists.

Whether intentionally or not there is no doubt these brave men risked their lives for America and freedom and not for money or the ability to shoot people.

Some of them are pretty cool people. It's too bad the idiots give them a bad name.

Notable American Presidents

American South

"All we ask is to be let alone."
—Jefferson Davis, a man with all the eloquence of sixteen year old girl.
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Your average American.

The American South (sometimes simply the South) is a region in the United States that has a strong belief in Jesus Christ and the 'Merican spirit. People in the South know that their region is the best because it is not full of Communist Liberals. The population of clean white people and dirty black people are equal. TJ and Scotty left because they hated the true 'Merican spirit.

In reality the american south is a very dangerous place with crazy hillbillys, guns, racism, lynchings and incest. The people here talk like retards and gives America a bad name. They also seem to have the same IQ as 6-year old children as they can't see the difference between a liberal and a communist.

Today

Funny-murica-meme-shirt

America today is awesome. Obesity and Jesus is everywhere due to burgers and churches. Illegal aliens cross the border everyday from Mexico and are shot dead. Police brutality occurs throughout the nation, but it is actually not a big problem at all because it's all justified. This is because 90% of so-called "victims" are niggers and they reached for the gun.

Sadly, liberal commies are taking control of America and pushing the gay agenda to children. They also want to take our guns away so that we can't kill them in the Great White Christian Genocide.

Legalization of Pan

Noscope freedom
As of 2014, 4 states and the capital cube have legalized pan. Every Christian in each state and district was instantly executed by homosexuals when the legislation was passed.

Shitty things

The only shitty thing about America is Barack Obama...and all niggers in general.

Maps

World2Merica

An explanation of the world in plain and simple American.

MapOfAmerica
<imap map-id="10518"></imap>

Cities in 'Murica

Gallery

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