- "You can say the founding fathers were wise but you cannot say their ideas were eternal. They were a bunch of 18th century motherfuckers."
- —TJ Kirk, 2014
Birth of the God Land
God created America 5,999 years ago. America was discovered in 667 AD by Jesus Christ himself. He came from Heaven to America by helicopter. The first thing he did was built the first church there, and was shortly attacked by Indians in the process. Jesus quickly equipped a M-16 and killed all of the 2,000,000 Indians with his 12 disciples and the pilgrims. After the war, Jesus and his followers built villages across the present-day nation and had monkey slaves everywhere doing work for the white people.
The Hundred Years' WarIn the 1600's, the king of England sent his army of faggots to try to reclaim America. Jesus and his army of clean white republicans defeated those faggots in about 3 Minutes. After the war, Jesus left and went back to heaven. After Jesus left, the people of America made George Bush or George Washington president of America. Shortly after, George Bush's friend Abe Lincoln freed the monkeys from their cages in like 1766 when he became president.
The World War Saga
In the 1940's, Adolf Hitler and Franklin D. Roosevelt were on the internet at 2:00 AM once and Adolf Hitler sent "lol ur a faggot come fite me". Roosevelt immediately sent his army to Nazi Germany, Italy and Japan to defeat them, and won in less than 1.5 Minutes.
The Communist Invasion
Somewhere in the mid 1900's, Jose Stallion and his Commie friends tried to destroy America with Cummunism. In response, Donald Raygun, the new president, fought 1v1 with Stallion and defeated him. He also destroyed most of Cummunism. In the 1960's, Martin Luther King wrote his 69th thesis that single handedly mixed the civilized clean white folk and dirty hoppin' blacksters together and ended segregaytion.
The Hour of Terror
On September 11, 2001, the World Trade Center in New York City was destroyed by Osama Bin Laden and his army of Monkeys/Kenyanists. The Kenyanists tried to take over America by electing Barack Obama as president, but thankfully they do not know the power of real Americans.
In the year 2016 Scotty Kirk launched a mass coup on Washington DC, ultimately reforming the US into the UISA (United Imperial States of America) and installing himself as Kaiser.
United Socialist States of Atheism
It's capital, Kenyada, is located in TJ's garage.
United States of Manatees
The USM is an unrecognized micro-nation comprised of a park and Brett Keane's cardboard box and Van.
Little is known about the country, aside from its size (20 square meters) and the identity of its dictator, Brett Keane. It's capital is made up of Keane's cardboard box and a trash bin.
Laws there are numerous, including mandatory wife beating, never questioning Keane and giving him "charity money". As of late nobody follows the law except the Bread Queen.
It is currently in a cold war with the USSA, however it is expected to warm up with TJ boldly attacking Brett Keane's Family.
War Veterans are heroes who defended the American dream by helping the US Government
steal oil defend the world from other countries terrorists.
Whether intentionally or not there is no doubt these brave men risked their lives for America and freedom and not for money or the ability to shoot people.
Notable American Presidents
- "All we ask is to be let alone."
- —Jefferson Davis, a man with all the eloquence of sixteen year old girl.
In reality the american south is a very dangerous place with crazy hillbillys, guns, racism, lynchings and incest. The people here talk like retards and gives America a bad name. They also seem to have the same IQ as 6-year old children as they can't see the difference between a liberal and a communist.
America today is awesome. Obesity and Jesus is everywhere due to burgers and churches. Illegal aliens cross the border everyday from Mexico and are shot dead. Police brutality occurs throughout the nation, but it is actually not a big problem at all because it's all justified. This is because 90% of so-called "victims" are niggers and they reached for the gun.
Sadly, liberal commies are taking control of America and pushing the gay agenda to children. They also want to take our guns away so that we can't kill them in the Great White Christian Genocide.
Legalization of PanAs of 2014, 4 states and the capital cube have legalized pan. Every Christian in each state and district was instantly executed by homosexuals when the legislation was passed.
The only shitty thing about America is Barack Obama...and all niggers in general.