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Theodore Shoebat

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"The homosexuals want to go into a woman's bathroom so they can molest little boys."
—What he says.
"I like dick."
—What he wants to say.
Theodore Shoebat (aka Slaterscreech) is an evangelical Christian conservative YouTuber and reprehensible whoreson whose delusions of how the world functions rivals that of Gail Chord Schuler.

He runs a YouTube channel where he posts videos filmed within his parent's basement, providing messages to the public that you will not hear at church. He guarantees that.

Theodore is a dumbass, homophobe, misogynist, theocrat and asshole who thinks Islam and ISIS are homosexual organizations. He uses more ad hominems than a battle rapper and has Ben described him as his new favorite piece of shit on the Drunken Peasants. He has been featured on the show eight times, each time exponentially worse than the last. He seems to be obsessed with faggots. Maybe even in love with them.

On DP

Episodes Featured

Episode 83

Theodore made his debut appearance in Episode 83 as he tried to prove why atheists are stupid. Theodore started right off the bat by falsely describing all atheists as being certain that there is no God. He then proceeded to claim that every atheist is intolerant of religion and wishes to make all other people atheists, before talking about the debate between Ray Comfort and Kirk Cameron between a couple of atheists. The peasants moved on to Ryan Wiley before finishing Theodore's video.

Episode 93

Theodore appeared again in Episode 93 when Ben brought up the existence of conservatives who think ISIS is a homosexual organization. Theodore insisted upon this in response to people who've told him that there are no LGBT extremists, despite the fact that ISIS has been known to execute people for being homosexual. He also cited Jeffrey Dahmer to prove that gays are murderers (ignoring the many notorious heterosexual serial killers). Theodore objected to the introduction of genderless bathrooms in Charlotte, North Carolina that would apparently allow transgender people to enter the bathroom of their choice and molest children (Scotty called it). He believes that this is a step in trying to reintroduce pederasty in society. Ben then encouraged the audience to hit the Like Button if they think Theodore is a piece of shit (over 5000 people agree).

Episode 96

Theodore reappeared in Episode 96, where he showed his appreciation for insane street preachers (you know the ones that most Christians don't want to associate with) for their blunt and fearless declaration of the "truth", and especially found it refreshing to see other people who "think" the way he does and how they give it to gay people. Theodore concluded that Christianity isn't about tolerance or compassion (his only agreeable point) and that God's "love" consists of acting like a bigoted cunt.

Episode 97

In Episode 97, Theodore made his fourth and hopefully last appearance on DP. Theodore argued that being homosexual is a choice and attempted to teach his audience how to refute the claim that it isn't made by the homosexual mafia. Unsurprisingly, Theodore fails to distinguish homosexual attraction from homosexual activity. When made the proposition to chose be homosexual to prove his own point, Theodore loudly proclaimed that he wouldn't because he's normal, in his own words. He compares the idea of homosexuality being an inborn trait to someone being born a murderer. The peasants moved on before finishing his video, believing they already addressed all of the "points" he made.

Episode 153

Theodore made his unwelcome return in Episode 153, where he commented on marriage equality and Kim Davis. He warned all sodomites that one day they'll have to submit to Christians.

Episode 173

Shoebat talks about why Chick-fil-A changing their public stance on gay marriage is a Satanic and unAmerican choice to make, calling that they be burned at the stakes. He was featured as part of the Crazy People Segment.

Episode 184

A video of his was played claiming that sodomites know that homosexuality is pure evil, pretty much the same topic he's always been obsessed with. Perhaps he doth protest too much.

Episode 185

Theodore made another shining appearance when he talked about how he is more of an American than most of people today because his views are in line with the people who lived 100 years ago and the renaissance, primarily in regards to women's rights and homosexuals being put to death. He's pretty much admitting that his views and outdated and antiquated. He said this hilariously while also dressed in the most spastic faggoty outfit possible.

Quotes

"The Law of God, that says that homosexuals must be put to death, must be enacted against this evil. You say that this is inhumane, that it is cruel, but it is not. What is truly cruel is giving freedom to caretakers and disgusting parents the 'freedom' to force children to watch this sickness manifest before their innocent eyes. Any parent, or adult, who brings children to a sodomite event should be arrested and punished, for those that 'have pleasure in them that do them' 'are worthy of death' (Romans 1:32), as we learn from the sublime words of St. Paul. This is true love, to destroy evil where it stands, to cut it off before it grows like a weed and consumes all of the nurturing love of righteous truth. The state must be slaughter these wicked reprobates or else they will continue to flood the world with their gloomy darkness."
―Calling for gay people to be executed.[src]
"Many claiming Christians will express their support for the sodomites, and they many times will bring up the 'love of Christ' to vindicate their support for them. Let us remind such people that no where in Scripture is evil tolerated simply because it does not physically or directly harm someone, or because it is private. In fact, Christianity is so much against allowing private deviancy, that it says that those who 'approve of those who practice them' are 'worthy of death' (Romans 1:32). This means that opinions expressed in favor for homosexuality and other deviancies (such as cannibalism), are worthy of capital punishment. This purely illustrates that Christianity is so much against the license to do evil — even if it is done in private — that it prohibits any approval of it."
―Calling for Pro-LGBT Christians to be executed.[src]

Trivia

  • He thinks a bag of brick can "dwindle".
  • He likes to use a gay lisp whenever talking about homosexuals (or deviants, sodomites or fags as he likes to derogatorily refer to them).
  • He's one of the few people featured on DP that actually has the balls/hatred to use the word "fag" as an actual derogatory slur.
  • He claims he was a nerd in high school and still is. However, nerds tend to be intelligent.
  • While he has never explicitly stated it, there is reason to believe that he doesn't think females should have to consent to sex.
  • He thinks of gay sex more than a lot of gay people, and it's likely that he would like a big black throbbing cock in his ass.
  • Interestingly, Shoebat is totally cool with any sexuality involving bananas. "It's nothing to be ashamed of," he says. "BananaGate turned me on quite a bit."
  • TJ and guest TheRPGMinx said that they prefer his blatant bigotry to the passive aggression of closet homosexuals like The Vigilant Christian.
  • He believes in Christian Supremacy.
  • His father's name is Walid Shoebat, and he is a Palestinian American who converted to Christianity from Islam(he was also a strong anti-Israel activist before his conversion to Christianity) and he became a strong anti-Islam advocate and a vehement Israel supporter after his conversion. He indoctrinated his son, Theodore Shoebat, during his upbringing into fundamentalist Catholic Christianity. He even has an entire Wikipedia article written on him.
  • There are two scenarios for this guy: He either becomes a mass shooter and Obama will ban dem guuuuunnnnnn, or he comes out of the closet and gets exposed as a fraud.

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