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"I don't have facts to back this up."
The average theist.
Theism, also known as Retardation, is the belief in a God or multiple gods. Monotheism is the belief in one god while polytheism is the belief in multiple gods. Believers in theism are called children theists. There are many types of theists including Muslims, Christians, Jews, Satanists, etc. It is the opposite of atheism, which is the lack of belief in God or gods. Some people like Bread Queen seem to label themselves theists (or as he coins it, 'god-believer') and nothing else.

Worldwide

In some parts of the world, it is strongly tied to and even directly controls politics. Even in the civilized, western world, theism is tied with politics, but not here in 'Murica.

Monotheism

The first monotheist religion was Zoroastrianism. God is called Ahura Mazda while the devil is called Ahriman. Later, the dirty jews got ahold of this religion and modified it to fit their culture. They removed Ahriman and renamed Ahura Mazda to Yahweh. Without an antagonist for God, God became bi-polar, doing a good thing at one time and doing an evil thing the next. Then the Christians came along and stole their shit from the Jews, but added another testament in which Jesus comes around and heals a bunch of people before getting executed and flying to Heaven. Also, God takes therapy and stops murdering people all the time. He also to stopped doing significant things in general for some reason.
JesusChrist

Jesus after realizing a decent amount of his followers are idiots.

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