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The New And Improved Drunken Peasants

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The New and Improved Drunken Peasants is a special superior episode of the Drunken Peasants Podcast. TJ and Scotty's absence being the main reason.[1]

Highlights

  • No TJ or Scotty.
  • First appearance of Pumpmunkx.
  • Second appearance of Evan Lefavor.

Videos Played

  1. This is why Jim Ass's Dinoaur is a Masterpiece [S01E06] [This is why]
  2. $500....for any atheist who can?
  3. Does Glenn Beck Still Want to Smuggle Syrian Refugees into America?
  4. GM crops are not the answer to world hunger
  5. EX-GODLY BROS ANDRE JUDAS BETRAYER LYING FOR ATTENTION EXPOSED
  6. 48 Things Women Hear In A Lifetime (That Men Just Don't)
  7. Is Honesty Always the Best Policy?

Start Of The Show

The show started out like your standard DP episode. After the usual disclaimer at the beginning of the show, they played an animated short about Paul being an asshole to gun victims. They then showcased an entirely different intro about how much better the show is without TJ and Scotty.

They then got Evan Lefavor on for his birthday and had Brett sing Bohemian Situation for Evan. All of them discussed their takeover of the DP and how much better it will be. CC started to discuss his strategy for winning the war on Christmas and Anthony Fantano's unpopular opinion on the JF vs. G Man rap battle. Paul and CC debated on what hip-hop and rap truly is.

Evan started talking about Stanley Kubrick's involvement in the directing of the moon landing. Paul disagreed with what he had to say, while CC proposed that Spielberg directed 9/11. CC thought the moon landing wasn't faked, but the departure from the moon landing was. Evan discussed his debate with the Vigilant Christian. It was canceled due to the fact that Mario told Ben he can't come on with Paul, CC, or Evan they all aren't real.
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Ben announced G Man's $500 challenge to prove atheism, which led to Evan challenging G Man to come on the show to debate him on the morality of the Bible. Evan then had to leave. Paul and Pimpmunkx discussed their potential make-out session to raise money for Galen's surgery. DP then described the fantastic ISIS meetup with Kim Jong-Un they had recently. DP announced the Dinoaur and Bull Puss t-shirts.

They went on to the Troll or not a Troll segment by The Neutral Party where they played a video explaining how Jim Ass's Dinoaur is an artistic masterpiece. Everyone, but Jim Ass declared it was a troll.

Middle Of The Show

They then played a video of G Man giving his $500 challenge to GalaxyDreams and other atheist YouTubers no one cares about. He challenged every atheist to prove there was no god and convince a Christian to come to atheism. Ben proposed one of his fans pretend to be a christian and convert to atheism so they can get the money and split it 50/50.

They played another video this time from Caiden Cowgirl. Paul and Pimpmunx cringed at his desperate attempt to be the next Rush Limbaugh. In the video, Caiden talked about the evils of Syrian refugees and their potential to be Islamic extremists. Paul went on a rant and roasted Caiden Cowcunt.

They then played a video of an anti-GMO African who went on to discuss the evils of giving 3rd world countries nutritious foods. Jim Ass made an actual reasonable statement about the phobia society has towards GMOs. CC listened to his human slave and also spoke out against the fear towards GMOs. They had to make a new call for the guests.

DP went on to watch a Vigilant Christian video exposing a former Godly Bro for being an evil satanic drug using member of the Illuminati. The former Godly Bro, named Andre, claimed Mario did drugs with him all the time. The accusations Andre presented are probably true considering Mario's past with drug abuse. Mario went on a tangent about how he stole his Go-Pro and how much better his other Godly Bros are.

End Of The Show

They played Huffington Post's list of 48 things poor women have to hear. The Peasants suffered from the stupidity of what these oversensitive pussies considered offensive. After watching the regressive left, they then moved on to the regressive right with a Prager University video about the evils of honesty. Everyone had no idea what the video was about due to the video being boring as fuck. Paul and Jim Ass went on to bicker for 10 minutes.

The started story-time with CC. Creationist Cat told the story of his origins and how TJ and his word-slave scavengers ate CC's mom and siblings while CC was taking a dump. CC then followed TJ to his lair and found the Kirk's filthy lair from hell and watched TJ and Scotty eat his brothers and sisters. After being chased by the Kirks CC went into a dark room with PaulsEgo naked covered in pudding being worshiped by Mexicans. CC ran out of the cave screaming for his life.

They ended story-time with Paul. Paul told the story of how his Ex-girlfriend was given cunnilingus by a dog with smelly big balls. After that they finally ended the show.

Quotes

  • "Evan Lefavor generally is the one true god." - Brett Keane
  • "I've got sunglasses! The sun never sets in Coolsville! Oh, I'm so cool!" - Jim Ass boosting his self-esteem mid blowjob

Trivia

  • Peaches And Cream is used for the new intro.
  • Paul's ex-girlfriend got her vagina licked by their dog.
  • It's totally an official Drunken Peasants episode.
  • The show was born when Ben was successful in handcuffing TJ to the basement wall piping (which turned tj on obviously), for the first time in five years he was free, after dealing with Scotty, he went on to start the New And Improved Drunken Peasants Podcast. It is widely regarded as the best show they ever had.

Unfortunately, TJ was freed from his bonds, and Scotty was resurrected via Evan Lefavor, this is proven when Evan leaves the show very early to attend a " birthday party " it was in fact, a rebirth, and Ben was confronted, and given an ultimatum: convert to Evanism, or die. He converted, and has been freed ever since.

References 

  1. http://puu.sh/lS2ju/32c0239681.png

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