- "I'm not really interesting at all."
- — T-shirt guy accepts the truth.
T-Shirt Guy is a garbage fuck who pays hundreds of dollars to be on DP and do absolutely nothing. He sits there on camera in the corner and watches DP do their show. Sometimes the hosts fuck with him for the entertainment of the viewers. He is less a guest and more "live voyeur."
T-Shirt Guy was once a little boy that had dreams and aspirations. He played with his friends, worked hard in school, and aspired to be a world-famous veterinarian. However, one day, he stumbled upon the Drunken Peasants Podcast. He forgot all his ambitions and quit his dream to become a world-famous veterinarian to be a basic Walmart employee. With this simple job, he could only afford just enough money to buy the t-shirts he valued ever so much at the time. His only source of financial support was the Mothman, who plowed him with vigor. Finally, after months and months of saving up, he shamelessly paid his way into a guest spot on the podcast.
On episode 126, he made an appearance where he was only used as a punching bag. TJ mocked him and the audience accurately accused him of being a pedophile. After the most traumatic experience of his life, he left his house and bought 10 bottles of liquor. He sat in an alleyway and drank until he collapsed due to alcohol poisoning and faded into a dark, bitter end in a world that would never accept him...
Following his death, a Jesuit clone of Shirt Guy was made. The clone of Shirt Guy spent his first night alive at a Kenyanist convention on the birthday of Barack Hussein Osama Bin Laden. There, he met the Mothman, and the two fell in love.
Shirt Guy nows tries to keep a balance between his relationship with TJ and the Mothman.
On Drunken Peasants
He appeared as a Patreon guest on episode 126. Letting himself be a punching bag for TJ was the only contribution he made (his boney frame hurt TJ's hands).
He appeared on episode 141 to ask Sargon of Akkad a question about his new game. He was unable to get close to Sargon, as TJ sabotaged his chance by bringing up dildo factories. Unsurprisingly, these same dildo factories were later revealed to be the property of the Mothman.
Shirt Guy came on again on episode 155, where his connection was
sabotaged by TJ disrupted by technical errors. Shirt Guy was kicked then brought back when the "technical errors" were fixed.
Shirt Guy appeared once again in episode 181, where he appeared on the podcast and shared an emotional moment with the peasants, and TJ admitted that he had been too mean to Shirt Guy, and he only acted that way because he was attracted to him.
Shirt Guy come on the show without his Deadpool mask in episode 189, where the extent of his relationship with TJ is revealed.
- "I'm garbage."
- "I will not say, [who I 'got laid with 10 years ago] mostly because I don't know her last name..."
- "I learned about condoms in my sixth grade sex class."
- "I like everything Star Trek."
- Those shirts were the only material he had that kept him warm at night. That and his father hovering over him.
- He lives in the same town as the Mothman and his sweet, sweet ass is what made the Mothman decide to stay
- A raging debate has been formed across the internet as to how much pussy those shirts used to get him everyday (the shirts are likely made of boyfriend material).
- Buying shirts is all he knows how to do.
- T-Shirt Guy used to masturbate exclusively to Teletubby porn, before he watched Schindler's Fist.
- T-Shirt Guy is confirmed to be garbage by TJ, because as we all know, it takes one to know one.
- He has the same facial hair as Vladimir Lenin (possible connection?).
- He has admitted to not buying the Dinoaur shirt, leading TJ to speculate that Shirt Guy should be shown every shirt before it is sold, and if he doesn't like it, then the shirt will sell well.
- T-Shirt Guy doesn't know how to enter a conversation.
- T-Shirt Guy has absolutely no sense of humour.
- T-Shirt Guy has frequently been "mistaken as" a pedophile.
- Ironically, when T-Shirt Guy shaves, he looks like someone a pedophile would love to molest, therefore he is forced to touch himself.
- The Human Centipede movies made him who he is today.
- He likes to cuddle.
- Despite what we all tell ourselves, we all love T-Shirt Guy.