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Peasantism

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Peasantism is a religion created by the Drunken Peasants so they don't have to pay taxes. If you're a Peasantist, you must worship the Drunken Peasants.

Commandments

  1. Thou shalt pray to John Cena while facing Columbus five times a day.
  2. Thou shalt taketh pictures of women in public to ensureth the vivacity of the Patriarchy.
  3. If thou shalt see a banana or anything that looks even remotely like it, thou shalt shoveth it up thine ass.
  4. Thou shalt keep a starving orphan in thine basement. Thou shan't ever knoweth when thou'll need it.
  5. Thou shalt stocketh thine refrigerator with bottles of thine father's semen.
  6. If thou shalt seeth a woman, thou shalt asketh her if she desireth a cup of coffee (and by coffee, I mean thine dad's sperm).
  7. Thou shalt attack Brett Keane's Family.
  8. Thou shalt not fixeth thine eyes upon Ryan Wiley's 83 part series on Jaclyn Glenn.
  9. Thou shalt get raped on a monthy basis by Patreon.
  10. The last commandment is, by far, the most important of all. Thou. Shalt. Smoketh. Pan. Everyday.

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