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O-GROUNDSKEEPER-WILLIE-SCOTTISH-INDEPENDENCE-570

Ironically, Groundskeeper Willie is not a true Scotsman.

No True Scotsman is a logical fallacy used by just about every Christian who appears on the DP podcast. The fallacy usually takes the following form:

Batshit insane person: “No Christian would do/believe X”

Rational person (usually Paul or one of the peasants): “I know Christians who do/believe X.”

Batshit insane person: “But they’re not real Christians!”

After this exchange the batshit insane person typically begins to explain how their personal interpretation or made up definition is the ultimate truth and nobody can challenge it. Or, they switch to Ad Hominems.

Traditional Form

If you’re a nerd, the fallacy is a form of ad hoc reasoning upon the presentation of a successful counterexample. Instead of acknowledging the counterexample or refuting it, the claimant merely redefines the term so that the undesirable members are no longer part of the specified set. For example:

Person 1: “For all members of set S, quality Q applies.”

Person 2: “But there is a person P, who is a member of set S for whom quality Q does not apply”

Person 1: “No. Person P is not a member of set S because Q does not apply.”

On DP

Nearly any episode with a Christian guest will have the fallacy show up somewhere. Particularly egregious examples include:

  • The Vigilant Christian in episodes 148 and 150 uses this to peddle his bullshit when the “that’s my worldview” shit ain’t flying. Both times he is called out by Paul using a Scottish accent.
  • Gail, any time someone points out that one of her men doesn’t know who the fuck she is, will claim that they aren’t the real person but are instead a Jesuit clone
  • G man, in probably the most famous example, first saying that starving children were not starving christian children then going full master of stupidity by saying if there are starving christian children they aren’t real christians.

Trivia

  • The act of wearing a kilt without underwear is referred to as “True Scotsman.” This has no relation to the fallacy but actually involves true Scotsmen.
  • Much like triangular compositions in visual media and basic color scales, this is something the average 4 year old can easily understand but is utterly incomprehensible to The Vigilant Christian.
  • If G-Man is on the show, the likelihood this fallacy will be invoked is directly proportional to the amount of time G-Man is allowed to speak.

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