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Kent Hovind

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"Evolution is also the foundation philosophy for the New World Order."
—Kent is a known crackpot.

"Dr." Kent Hovind, also known as Cunt Hovind, Kent Ho-vine, G Man Sr. or Inmate Number 135733[1], is a godly, real scientist (the non-satanic kind).


Kent is the king of Creationism and has debunked the evilution lie many times throughout his career. In 2006, he was sent to prison for not paying his taxes as well structuring and obstructing IRS administration (or some shit like that). He was released in July of 2015. Strangely enough, he appears to not be fazed by his prison time, and is the same smug disgruntled moron he always was.


He was first discussed in episode 115. His first YouTube video was featured on episode 136. DP made a request to fans to contact Kent Hovind to get him come on their show to have a moderated debate. The next day Kent Hovind made a video agreeing to this debate, but not without some shitty rules.

Kent wanted no cussing during the debate and also wanted his sex slave RacerX to be the "neutral" moderator the debate in a draconian fashion where he would have absolute power to ban people for absolutely any provocation. Also because he knows how to work the Googles and Kent probably knows less about modern technology than Napoleon at the start of Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.

Despite the DP agreeing to all those rules, RacerX wanted even more fascist rules to control the debate, like airing it on a neutral channel with a "neutral moderator" (still him), so that DP can't make a single red cent off of the debate, unless they sell it on cassette tapes or however Kent thinks the world still works. TJ was so angry at Racer's bullshit that he cussed him out and it eventually lead to the debate being cancelled until further notice.

How the conversation between TJ and RacerX allegedly went down can be viewed here. Surprisingly, Speed Racer's asshole brother isn't afraid of showing how much of a smarmy condescending cunt he is on his own website, constantly berating TJ and the DP for "picking fights with people on the street" and saying naughty words that make his virgin ears bleed.

In the meantime, Kent is now bragging that he can't find a single opponent to debate him, because they're all cowards, class act.
First Debate Booked!! Dr05:22

First Debate Booked!! Dr. Kent Hovind Responds To "Drunken Peasants" Invitation

Hovind agreeing to go on the show.

Getting Owned


  • "Five billion people could drown in Loch Ness, and no one would show above the surface. It is a big lake.[2]
  • "There is definitely a conspiracy, but I don’t think that it is a human conspiracy. I don’t believe there is a smoke filled room where a group of men get together and decide to teach evolution in all the schools. I believe that it is at a much higher level. I believe that it is a Satanic conspiracy. The reason these different people come to the same conclusion is not because they all met together; it is because they all work for the devil. He is their leader and they don’t even know it."[2]
  • "I believe the Great Pyramid was built to be the Bible in stone. The Egyptians did not build it."[2]
  • "By the way, in case you don’t know, ACLU stands for the America Communist Lawyers Union. The stated purpose of the founder was to advance communism."[3]
  • "The Neanderthals are perfectly normal humans that are living to be two or three hundred years old. That's all they are."[4]
  • "You can get these Jackson chameleons right now at the pet store. What's he going to look like at about 15 tons? Probably some kind of triceratops."[4]
  • "Democracies are dangerous forms of government. They always become dictatorships; and they almost always talk about this universal health care."[4]
  • "Dinosaurs were just big lizards that lived with Adam and Eve before the Flood came."[5]
  • "The real question is: "Should we have public schools?""[5]
  • "You see God loves music. God invented music. But Satan has invented some ungodly music you shouldn't listen to."[5]
  • "All this feathered dinosaur stuff is baloney. It's all baloney."[6]
  • "God saw everything and it was very good; that's perfect; that's the way I want it. Satan's plan is to put it back to zero. He wants to reduce human population with reduced birth rates by abortion."[7]
  • "Don't even look and lust or you've committed adultery already in your heart. By the way, ladies, that's why it's important how you dress, okay? My daddy always said, "If you're not in business, don't advertise.""[7]
  • "What if God provided everything for everybody all the time and you never had to work a moment in your life? All we would do is sit around and think up ways to get into trouble. That's one of the problems of welfare."[8]
  • "Now keep in mind, I don't think you can prove this dogmatically, but it probably never rained before the Flood came."[8]
  • "Technically, one drop of water would cover the planet, if you spread it really thin."[8]
  • "If you shrank the Earth down to the size of a cue ball to play pool with, the Earth would be rounder and smoother than the cue ball."[8]
  • "The Drunken Peasants say, 'If someone doesn’t want to debate it’s because they are afraid that science will lose the debate…' Well, find someone who isn’t afraid… plain and simple." - RacerX quoting something I'm sure DP totally said.


  • He has passed the torch to his son Eric Hovind, to also preach against the evilution lie.
  • Tribute to Kent Hovind03:19

    Tribute to Kent Hovind

    He will live until he's 120. Ergo, he's a middle aged man.
  • In the acceptance video to debate on the show, he said it's "extremely rare for an atheist to be willing to defend their position in front of a creationist that they don't have control over" then proceeded to demand a whole bunch of stipulations that would effectively let his side control the whole debate. Birds fly, fish swim, grass grows, TJ fucks fruit, creationists have zero self-awareness.
  • He once challenged Thunderf00t to a debate, but insisted that there be no foul language. Thunderf00t responded by calling him a bitch for not being able to stand against "Bad words"
  • His "medication" will only poison some fuckers.
    • We're not sure if this means he supports murder, euthenasia or suicide, but we're pretty sure that if God is real, he's sending Kent to hell for it.
  • Is supported by the Vigilant Christian


  • Kent encounters Bubba the black Jesuit.
  • Taxes, how do they work?
  • Kent Hovine
  • Kent Hovind getting ready to jerk himself off


  2. 2.0 2.1 2.2 Unmasking the False Religion of Evolution (1996)
  3. Creation seminars (2003-2005): The Age of the Earth
  4. 4.0 4.1 4.2 Creation seminars (2003-2005): The Garden of Eden
  5. 5.0 5.1 5.2 Creation seminars (2003-2005): Dinosaurs and the Bible
  6. Creation seminars (2003-2005): Lies in the textbooks
  7. 7.0 7.1 Creation seminars (2003-2005): The dangers of evolution
  8. 8.0 8.1 8.2 8.3 Creation seminars (2003-2005): The Hovind theory

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