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Joe Jones

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"The world is littered with drunken assholes."
—His thoughts on the Drunken Peasants.

Joe Jones (a.k.a. Kinky Joe) is a conservative gun-nut who believes every mass shooting is a hoax to take his guns away. He also has a website about traveling.

Like Wild Bill, he has a hate-boner obsession with Liberals and blames them for absolutely everything bad that happens in the news and every minor transgression about as frequently as Gail does with Jesuits. Not only do they want to take your guns away, but they are evil people responsible for every real major disaster from Jesus's crucifixion, to the fall of Rome, to the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand, to gay marriage and his toast falling butter-side-down. They also keep sending him chain letters asking for his money. He thinks you shouldn't hire them, let them in your schools or drink from the same water fountain as them. Also Liberals need to stop committing crimes.

Coincidentally to his fanatic devotion to the Republic party, he does in fact have the fat content of an elephant; though ironically he's as stubborn as a jackass. He blames his weight on the pin-headed Berkeley graduate liberals for putting too much trans fats in his extra mayo foot-long cheese steak and meatball sandwiches at Subway and liberal child-molesting Mexicans for inventing too many addictive quesadilla-based foods at Taco Bell.

On DP

Collegeliberal

How Kinky Joe sees absolutely everyone that he doesn't like.

The first video of his played was in episode 143, were he made a $25,000 bet to prove to him that the Sandy Hook shooting was real. He also said that if he's convinced he'll give you the money, but if he's not he'll take your $25,000. Seems reasonable, especially since he decides the judge and puts the accumulated $50,000 in a safe deposit box he owns.
PiggyJoe2

Spot the difference: One is a dumb ugly caricature of a farm animal that hates everyone that isn't like them and one is a cartoon pony.

The next video from him that they played was in episode 144 were he explained how the Charleston Church shooting was just another hoax made by liberals to get there evil anti-gun agenda.

In episode 147, he talked about a butthurt liberal mad about him carrying a gun in a Kentucky Subway, because some liberal might hold up the place. He claimed he put the liberal in his place, when really the liberal just said one thing to him and took off in his pussy hybrid.

In episode 150, he said it was "clear proof" that the Sandy Hook Shooting was fake because there wasn't enough oil stains in the parking lot. As opposed to the tar laid down to repair cracks, which would totally be there at a school that was abandoned for four years. Also the fact that he only shows a few bird's eye view pictures with freaking card blocking most of the view of the ground. Hell, there's even a few parts of his grainy photos that do show oil spots that he suspiciously glances over with his mouse pointer. Even Vegan Gains thinks he's insane and wondered if he was a holocaust denier.

In episode 154, he made a really racist video where he looks up all the registered sex offenders near his sister's residents in a Mexican neighborhood and says it's suspicious that they're mostly all Hispanic names; no shit, Sherlock. He then conflated that fact to his theory that all Mexican Americans/immigrants are sex offenders/criminals that the evil liberal Obama lets in on purpose. Though all he did was show himself to be as racist and a marsupial, just with a different shade of brown to use statistics to hate. Guess we knew ahead of time who he's going to vote for.

In episode 155, he shows how much of a paranoid retard he is by thinking a chain email soliciting money from him to somehow stop the Liberal Lizard Hillary is some liberal conspiracy to steal money from him. Because somehow only a dirty liberal would be able to find his address. He concluded that the liberal that sent it was Donald Duck. He's probably just mad, because a liberal Nigerian prince tricked him into giving him a lot of his money because he claimed he was conservative.

In episode 160, he complained about people sending him harassing comments, just from making an innocent video that pissed a lot of people off for some reason. Of course he said absolutely every single one of them is a Liberal. He bitched that in response to his rigged as hell bet, people denied his mother died, ergo attacking his family. Also pasting his beautiful face on their "gay liberal porn", which he suspiciously defensively says he doesn't even know how to find. That's right, the studious fuck did all this research on every mass shooting ever but doesn't know how to find gay porn, but liberals do because they're gay.

In episode 180, he's at it again thinking junk mail is a liberal conspiracy, this time from Capital One to scam him into getting a liberal credit card. The deception being: tricking you into thinking there's a credit card in the envelope and somehow that scams you into getting a credit card - genius! Of course it was a liberal that came up with this, because only a "young junior executive liberal pinhead from Berkeley" would be capitalist enough to come up with such a Machiavellian scheme.
"Some liberal - and it was a liberal, I don't care what you FUCKING liberals say, it was a liberal! Cuz a conservative wouldn't do this!... and they should all be hunted down, like rabid dogs and exterminated!"
—A totally sane man that doesn't need a fancy white long-sleeved coat.
In episode 196, the peasants played a video of him in his car, which they immediately came to the conclusion that Joe stopped giving a shit about videos, just like Jesusfreak. Kinky Joe talked about how he's bitter as hell from being stuck in "Commiefornia" because some liberal stole all his shit in his shopping cart while at the supermarket. How does he know a liberal did it? Because only liberals do evil things, that's why! He then goes to show how not-evil he is by talking about how liberals should all be killed. The Peasants also talked about a video they watched off-show where a crazy naked lady was following him while he was driving his truck. He said he was loving it "unless she was some weird tranny freak or something." salt of the earth, Kinky Joe.
Jihadjoe

OK, now he's getting scary.

In episode 211, he made a really boring video about how he didn't understand the electoral college (somebody didn't watch Schoolhouse Rock as a kid) and more than likely thinks it is somehow a liberal conspiracy to try to keep God's chosen pure arian political philosophy from voting as much as the filthy impure liberals.

Trivia

  • He doesn't believe that any mass shooting ever happened.
  • He doesn't go anywhere without his gun because he's a coward because a liberal could start a REAL mass shooting near him at any moment!
  • TJ said it would be ironic for him to die in a mass shooting or if he caused one and still denied it was real.
  • He is actually Josh Feuerstein's father, Brett Keane's cousin and Wild Bill's brother.
  • He is one very kinky fuck. Sure, Joe, we believe you that you don't know where to find gay porn!
  • He's fat.

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