"I am the way, the truth and the light. Sike! Got em nigga!"
—Jesus Christ
"If you love Gail like I do, you should purchase a copy of her amazing book at"
―Jesus Christ[src]

Jesus Christ is the central figure of Christianity (He is also present as a prophet or some other religious figure in other religions such as Islam, Bahá'í Faith etc.). He is the son of God. He was born in the Middle East to some Jewish broad named Mary. When he got older, he preached the true word of God to everyone around him. However, he was crucified for doing so and to this day his followers try to guilt trip people with it. He now resides in Heaven with his fellow Christians.

With The DPtopian People

Jesus Christ is also a central citizen of DPtopia. Although he doesn't exist, some speculate that You can't see him. John Cena Jesus Christ is definitely a DPtopian. He takes it in the ass and the mouth all the time.

His Birth

The Birth Of Jesus Christ01:47

The Birth Of Jesus Christ

Jesus IRL

What Jesus was like according to the overall historical and scientific consensus01:36

What Jesus was like according to the overall historical and scientific consensus


  • Mormons claim he was born in good old Merica'.
  • He is a dirty Jew
  • He will soon bring his people back to Heaven with him in the Rapture.
  • He not only wrote the Constitution, but rubbed his testicles on it.
  • Jesus is a Mob Boss, who demands 50% of all earnings or else he will throw down with you.
  • Jesus is white, anyone who says otherwise has white guilt.
  • Jesus Christ is so loving that he gives people cancer and disease.


  • Jesus in da hood
  • Jesus showing us his musical talents


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