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Illuminati

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The IllumiScotty, formerly known as the Illuminati, is an organization of German masochists who are hell-bent on world domination. Founded in 1776, their purpose is to incite social change by undermining the authority of established monarchs. Many people now believe that the Illuminati has survived since then and is manipulating people and world events on a massive scale.

Illuminati symbols include triangles, circles, eyes, mirrors, rectangles, faces, water, air, giant lips, dildos, Scotty, credit card debt, anything that exists, and even herpetic Canadians who cry on camera.

On DP

Scotty is a proud member of the Illuminati, and manipulates everyone affiliated in any way with the Peasants, including TJ. Scotty has said on air that the Illuminati has made conspiracy theorist and village idiot, Jim Ass, its next target.

The Illuminati is most frequently discussed on the show when Vigilant Christian videos are featured. The esteemed gentleman sifts through volumes of mass media to find Illuminati symbolism, which makes no perfect sense because the Illuminati has brainwashed you all.

Misconceptions of The Illuminati

  • Screen Shot 2015-07-08 at 1.35.46 AM

    Scotty swearing allegiance to the Illuminati.

    The Illuminati was not a religious order as many believe it to be. It was an anti-religious, secular organization. It was based on the ideas of logic, skepticism, empiricism, and opposed to superstition, religion, and abuse of state power (which is somewhat ironic).  
  • The organisation was primarily opposed to the Roman Catholic Church.  
  • The all-seeing eye is not the real Illuminati symbol. The real symbol is in fact an owl.  

Website

The Illuminati has an official website that was covered by a genius. DP foolishly laughed at the moron genius sifting through the debris of the Illuminati official website.

IllumiScotty

The IllumiScotty is a faction within the Illuminati, ruled by the evil, despotic Scotty, whose mission is to sap the world of all joy and happiness. Scotty became president of the IllumiScotty in 1971, after winning an election against his arch rival Scotty Cena.

The TVC Faction

The TVC Faction is a rogue sect of the Illuminati led by The Vigilant Christian and is antagonistic to the peasants. They have been the ones responsible for plenty of streaming difficulties in the past.

DPArt

Illuminati plots against the peasants!!

Illuminati the Motherfucking Opera02:50

Illuminati the Motherfucking Opera

Members of The Illuminati

New World Order

New World Order

The New World Order is the Illuminati's plan to bring about a one-world government where they have absolute power over everything. Many conspiracy theorists esteemed intellectuals have concluded that we are being given hints in the media about the upcoming events leading to the New World Order, because apparently obviously the Illuminati has nothing better to do than hide shit in TV shows and music videos.

Trivia

  • The Illuminati has no respect for the concept of consent when it comes to interactions with Creationist Cat, unfortunately.
  • They still exist in some form.
  • They rule the world
  • THEY ARE WATCHING.
  • They are the sworn enemy of the Catholic Church.

Gallery

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