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Furries

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On DP.

"Yiff in hell, Furfag!"
—Ancient English proverb.

Furries are undesirable people who seek to fuck anthropomorphic life forms. Many fans of the podcast are furries as well as the hosts, Ben, TJ and Scotty (who in particular, jerks off to insects killing people).

On DP

The Drunken Peasants might not exist if Ben and TJ had not reached for the same picture of a platypus at a furry convention. Stories relating to furries have occasionally been played on the show.

TJ says that his fursona would be a platypus, while Ben says he would be an otter. Scotty has not described any fursona.

Ben himself was once a furry back as far as 2010. He and TJ met at a convention and exchanged numbers, TJ then ate the phone number shortly after being out of eyesight.

Ben, after attempting to call TJ approximately 90,645 times, fell in to a deep depression, and after losing his job as a furry phone prostitute, he was homeless for about a year. But Cody Weber, ( TJ's cameraman at the time ) found Ben attempting to eat a midget. Cody had been looking for a slave for quite some time, and so lured Ben to his basement with some Pan he found in his dank meme stash, before chaining Ben to his basement pipes.

Ben would remain a slave for four years. Yet his basement's existence was unknown to TJ, who never knew of Ben's kidnapping, so when Cody was fired, he forgot to release Ben, who would only manage to survive by eating rats, and remained sane by listening to TJ's antics for a little over three years. Thus, indirectly creating the wiki.

One day, Holly discovered Ben, and kept him all to herself, keeping him as a pet for many months. She bestowed upon him a mask, to cover his Rat - nibbled face. She trained him in the art of streaming for months, however, she sold him to TJ after discovering Ben's stash of Nazi memorabilia.

Ben originally wore a mask covering his entire face, likely because his face was nonexistent. He would go on to get skin grafts from the upper lip down, crafted of pieces of skin donated from Beavis himself. He would go on to collect other masks, flaunting his upper lip facial skin.

So, what is the reason this story is here? Despite the fact it has minimal furry content? Well, no one else was going to fill in this empty ass page.

Nazi Furs

Historians have discovered that furries were intended to be victims of Hitler's Final Solution, however, as furries hadn't existed yet, one can only hope a new genius will come and wipe out furries once and for all. Some historians, though, believe that Hitler himself might have loved dogs a bit too much.

TJ's List of Potential Slogans

TJ made a list of several potential slogans on his Tumblr when asked to show support for bestiality furries.

  • Should you fuck a horse? Yes, of course! 
  • Put an Octopus on your Cock-topus
  • Bestiality is the best reality. 
  • Feeling down? Fuck a hound. 
  • Pound Parrot Pussy. 
  • Bestiality: because zoos are cheaper than strip clubs. 
  • Fondle Fauna. 
  • Shoot your load into a toad. 
  • Fuck a duck. 
  • Tap that ass’s ass! 

Trivia

  • Bronies are a large community of furries.
  • Scotty is the "Für"hrer.
  • This page only exists because the owner of the DP Wiki wanted a place to keep his fap material.
  • Teen pop sensation Vladimir Lenin was a furry.
  • Furries are infamous for wanking to Porcelain Shard -stabbing- Underage tranny porn.
  • Ben was once a furry hobo. His life helped serve as the inspiration for the Sex Twister song, Hobo Anal.

Gallery

  • Typical furry DeviantArt page
  • The correct way to deal with a furry infestation.

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