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Evan Lefavor

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"This is a message to all people of all time, and I'm about to reveal to you a secret that is just about to be revealed for the first time, and that is what God is."
—Evan Lefavor about to drop some knowledge bombs
Suck My Dick05:01

Suck My Dick

Evan blows our minds with his phat beats.

Evan Lefavor (aka Evan Leflavor) is a wacky conspiracy theorist who believes he is God, and subsequently founded the religion of "Evanism." He is the self-styled commander of the army of Heaven and the Good illuminati (not to be confused with the evil Illuminati), uses a shitty webcam and microphone whenever he records his long, self-repeating videos, and holds such an odd set of beliefs that could be said to be a mixture of that of The Vigilant Christian, Gail Chord Schuler, gTime Johnny, and Patrick Coleman. He is also the biological father of Jesus Christ.  It is debatable to whether he is a troll or not a troll,

On DP

Evan Lefavor first appeared on episode 28, where he talked about how Vladimir Putin is a clone of Julius Caesar because they have similar facial features. He went on to talk about how because of triple parent DNA tests, George H.W Bush's children are both George W. Bush and Barack Obama. He doesn't really understand cloning. Evan is the man who got Paul to talk about H.W's sperm for ten minutes, instead of Paul's usual hour long segment devoted entirely to discussing the of former president's baby batter.

Evan Lefavor appeared on episode 122, where the Drunken Peasants watched his video where Evan describes some stoner shit on how God isn't all that powerful and isn't an invisible sky god, but is actually the entire embodiment of the internet. God is basically the NSA, according to him.

He then later appeared again at the end of episode 127, where he brought forth his shitty arguments for why human cloning is a human right that should be pursued by all who wish to preserve themselves and their loved ones. His reasoning behind it is retarded because he doesn't realize that even if you were to clone somebody, the clone would still be a separate entity from the original person.

Later, he appeared in episode 138 where he discussed Star Trek apparently predicting the entire future.

He made another appearance on episode 148 where he was considered a false prophet by the Vigilant Christian.

His next appearance was on episode 152 where he explained how he knew George Carlin himself before he was even born in the kingdom of Heaven.

He also appeared on episode 165, where he claims there are more gay people and atheists in heaven then there are hateful religious people.

In episode 168, he sung his hit single; Suck My Dick.

Evan finally made a guest appearance on Episode 172. He was surprisingly reasonable while he was on the show.

He made his second appearance on the New and Improved Drunken Peasants special. He spent his time talking about the moon landing and The Vigilant Christian's cowardliness.

Quotes

"The Vigilant Christian has been telling lies and spreading propaganda about me and my coming Kingdom in his videos. He calls my Kingdom "Antichrist Kingdom" and he says that our destiny to merge with technology is a deception. But it is not a deception, it is our destiny to merge with technology and become immortal. The Vigilant Christian is the one who is a liar. He is not a Christian, he is all in it for the money." - on The Vigilant Christian

Trivia

  • He believes that the Illuminati wants to make human cloning illegal - something he believes is a human right.
  • He's a great rapper, who has cooked up many a beat.
  • According to him, time travel technology currently exists, and he also has a ripoff of G-Time called EL FatherTime. [1]
  • He believes that Barack Obama and Vladimir Putin are clones, and that Putin and Julius Caesar are the same person. [2]
  • Apparently, he is a deist. [3]
  • He is the father of Jesus Christ.
  • The Vigilant Christian refuses to debate him because he thinks Evan is a troll is a pussy.
  • He is your best friend forever, for he is Evan Lefavor.

References

  1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fg2rqQug_bU
  2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kVbBwr0LI7k
  3. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBUOHinGMMo

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