- "You're two years old, time for your first joint!"
- —Scotty shows his terrible or genius parenting skills.
- The return of Paul's Ego.
- Pan smoking extravaganza.
- Monster Energy Drink = Satanic?
- Obama ousted as a closet conservative.
- Woman Proves How Monster Energy Drinks Are the Work of Satan!!!
- Democrat Lynch Party
- Earth Does Not Rotate, Is Not A Planet (Concave Earth/Glass Sky)
- Confronting a Flu Vaccine Worker
- NOFX Frontman Kicks A Fan In The Face
- Concerned Florida Mothers Protest Medical Marijuana (can't find)
- New York City To Change Its Policy On Small Amounts of Pot
- High School Student Disciplined For Not Saying "Under God" While Leading The Pledge (can't find)
- President Obama's Statement on Keeping the Internet Open and Free
- Ex Nazi Soldiers Receive Millions of Dollars in Social Security Benefits
- Iraq Welcomes More U.S. Military Advisors
- Shopper Attacked By A Mother In Nordstrom Parking Lot
- Is Obama A Closet Conservative?
Start of the Show
The show starts with the usual Audible Trial shilling. TJ isn't here because his fascination with nipple clamps sent him to the emergency room. Ben and Scotty are fascists and make Paul introduce himself.
The first video played is a video of a lady proving how Monster Energy Drinks are Satanic. Ben gives spoilers for the video because his mouth is almost as stretched as his asshole. Afterwards, Paul critiques the letter "O". Ben brags about his expertise in Catholicism.
The next video played is a video of Wild Bill spouting some bullshit about Obama's conspiracies. Ben, Paul, and Scotty make fun of Wild Bill's hat. In an attempt to locate Wild Bill, Paul examines Wild Bill's surrounding in his previous videos. Then Wild Bill talks about a nigger named Lynch. Later, Scotty delves into politics and his fascism starts to show.
Prior to the next video, Scotty bitches about his disappointment in the rotation of the Earth for not feeling like a carnival ride. Then, Paul gives us a lesson about the vestibular system and how the system senses orientation with respect to gravity. After that, Ben finally plays a video about some inbred hick who doesn't believe that the Earth rotates. Scotty and Ben think that they are superior and laugh at the man and Paul confesses his admiration for dinosaurs.
After that, a video of a SJW weeaboo harassing a bunch of flu vaccination workers. They were just trying to do their jobs. Scotty makes fun of the way the asshole in the video says the word "odd", as if Scotty's Canadian-washed brain is any better at pronouncing things.
The fifth video played is a video from a NOFX concert, in which assholes from the crowd threw shit at the frontman. After which, a fan ran up on stage and the front man kicked the kid in the face. Paul laughed mechanically at this video because he is Satan.
Video #6 presents old hags protesting medical marijuana because it killed all of their eggs. Their ovaries are useless and now they must punish the young and the free. Apparently, the ladies in this video are only against pan shops because their signs have no relevance to medical marijuana.
Video 7 is yet another video pertaining to marijuana. This video covers New York City police officers being given the option to write tickets for small amounts of pan. The man that CNN barbie dolls were persecuting was high as fuck while the CNN barbies bitch about marijuana legalization.
Middle of the Show
About an hour into the show, they cover a story about a boy who was disciplined for not saying "under God" while leading the school pledge. In addition to being disciplined, the school also docked the kid's grade. (Insert Paul bitching and Scotty trying to be funny here.) This video makes Scotty's anus bleed. A disgruntled old dude then bitches about the kid not saying the pledge right, and Scotty's first ever funny joke makes it's debut. #CongratsScotty
After the celebration of Scotty finally getting it right, a video is played about Obama's stance on net neutrality. Then, we spot a gay man on CNN talking about what he does in his free time. Scotty questions his sexuality and is scared by the man in pink. Scotty then admits that Obama is right.
Next is a story about Iraq welcoming U.S. military advisors. We discover that CNN has hired a woman who doesn't know how to pronounce the word "rather". The story progresses and we listen to some dyke cunt bitching about Rand Paul and ISIS. Yet again, Scotty's anus is tickled and he goes into a rant about Rand Paul, Obama, and ISIS. Contributing to Scotty's rant, Ben becomes a philosopher.
While Ben introduces the next video, Paul speaks in his native tongue. A woman is attacked in a Nordstrom parking lot for telling a shitty mother to "go to hell". Ben, Paul, and Scotty agree that the woman's assault was justified. Paul then makes a rape joke, which tightened the anuses of Feminazis everywhere. Scotty is condescending.
In the next video, some shit head explains why Obama is a closet conservative. Paul promotes hate speech against Obama. Scotty spouts his extensive knowledge of politics.
After this video, they take a break.
Songs Played During The Break
- Hobo Anal - Sex Twister
- Peaches and Cream - Sex Twister
- Motherfucker - Sex Twister
- Man Rape - Sex Twister
- She Fucked - Sex Twister
- Virgin Killer - Sex Twister
End of the Show
After the break, they shill Patreon once a-fucking-gain, because Ben is garbage and Scotty is a little bitch. Paul then brags about his pan break. After the shilling, they go into Q&A. Featured in this episode's Q&A are EggHead and BeyondPhere.
- "I'm Paul's Ego, I'm a fat internet atheist." - Paul introducing himself
- "Is this like Crazy Con or something?" - Scotty trying to be funny
- "She was taking a break from cosplaying as Jesus." - Ben revealing his summer plans
- "'Merica! Fuck Yeah!" - Scotty singing
- "Where is Wild Bill?" - Scotty plotting to rape Wild Bill
- "Pounded like banana stealing monkeys!" - Wild Bill
- "Oh, Wild Bill. You're the gift that keeps on giving." - Ben professing his love for Wild Bill
- "How dare they try to prevent a disease from spreading, that's so terrible. HOW DARE THEY!?!" - Scotty being a fascist
- "It is a mosquito and crocodile infested sinkhole!" - Paul talking shit about Florida
- "If you're selling cigarettes, you get choked to death too." - Ben sharing his extensive knowledge about NY laws
- "It's high time that this happened." - CNN being hipsters
- "Don't stone me for this pun, but it's HIGH time..." - typical Paul joke
- "It's the liberal media!" - Ben being garbage
- "It's bullshit." - Scotty describes his sex life
- "Disgruntled doddering old fool." - Paul reads the title of his biography
- "No, it means he has B.O. and needs to put some deodorant on." - Ben makes his first appearance as the new "Old Spice Guy"
- "In addition to attacking my family, Paul's Ego is also a Nazi sympathizer." - Paul predicts Bread Queen's next video
- "That's literal rape! ... You're literally raping me." - Paul triggering Feminazis