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Episode 169

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"More McDonalds cheeseburgers to make my mantitties grow!"
—TJ's fetish.

Episode 169 aka Anthony Fantano's 30th Barfday is an episode of the Drunken Peasants Podcast. It was the second episode to feature Anthony Fantano as a guest. It also happened to be Anthony's birthday.

Highlights

Videos Played

  1. Like, teen pregnancy and shit (not found)
  2. LOD Defeats Any GOD Man Ever Masturabted To!
  3. Letter
  4. Dude Rants About Female Stormtrooper (not found)
  5. Dr. Kent Hovind - Socialist Bernie Sanders Explains Reform Ideas and What Socialism Really Means
  6. Man-eater BEHEMOTH Sara Avery in California - HIGH ALERT
  7. G Man vs Christopher Hitchens Sam Harris and Stephen hawking !!!!
  8. ‘Prophetess’ Opal Covey Wants to Be the Next Mayor of Toledo
  9. The Amazing Wasteist... An atheist humiliation
  10. Let's talk about penises.
  11. Take the Black Pill

Start Of The Show

The shilled out their merchandise and advocated smoking pan everyday. TJ made at Jaclyn Glenn being a fucking plagiarist. They talked about Scotty's voice and brought Anthony onto the show. TJ requested everyone send him gifts for the occasion. They talked about how TJ is a dumbass for thinking Benjamin Franklin was a president and how American God-worship the Founding Fuckheads.
AnthonyMercer

Fantano is a murder. His real name is also Chris Mercer.

They get on the topic of Paul Ryan, who seems like a nice guy on the surface, but believes shit like that Medicare needs the boot. They talked about a shooter who looked a lot like Anthony Fantano and the peasants asked him why he killed all those people. They talked about TJ's fan who murdered a guy in Sweden with a sword.

Scotty then advocates police brutality as long as it's against fucking idiots. Scotty claimed he once saw TJ and Ben jerking off to a police brutality video.

The moved into a Troll or Not a Troll about a talking pair of tits asking why girls would ruin such young pussy by getting pregnant. The peasants labeled her an obvious troll, except for Anthony, therefore he is garbage. Anthony is revealed to have an awesome Alex Jones impression. They had to fix audio issues and TJ looked like he was completely lost in time.

They moved into a gTime Johnny video. He explains his hand symbols designating "Earth" and "Man". Scotty suggested he have a debate with The Living Man and TJ added they could have a debate. One of his hand signs was actually a way to say "Fuck You!" in the United Kingdom. Anthony suspected he's a troll but it's incredibly unlikely.

They moved into a Jenny McDermott video. It was literally just her listing a bunch of references for like over an hour. She was dressed up to look professional but she looked even worse than usual. It looked like when TJ had bangs.The actual point of the video was actually aiming to tell all these people information they already know about her being harassed "for being a woman complete idiot online" and talking about the already mainstream Anita Sarkeesian.

Ben commented that Sarkeesian certainly didn't seem afraid of life when he saw her and TJ described a story in which she made a shit ton of money for sitting on her non-existent ass. TJ pointed out her hypocrisy in trying to use the media to dig herself out of the hole she created. She claims to receive death and rape threats frequently, TJ has been threatened online as well but who cares because he's a man. They play the rest of the video to prove it's not a satire.

Middle Of The Show

StormTroopers

The new Stormtroopers.

They move into a video by some neckbeard who's upset by the concept of a Stormtrooper with a pussy. They talked about George Lucas and his crumbling control over the movies. Ben talked about the absurdity of an entire army of worthless, incompetent clones. They talked about how a lot of movies that try to live up to the originals and fall on their ass. They discussed the Masters of the Universe movie with Dolph Lundgren.

They next played a Kent Hovind review talking about Bernie Sanders' recent speech. It was mostly Sanders talking without any commentary for the first few minutes at all. He tries to say that people being college educated is a bad thing. He argues there's too many dumb people and that a high school diploma is worthless, but still somehow things it's better for some people to not receive a college education.

Fantano called him out for not even paying his taxes and complaining where tax dollars go. Hovind starts just shilling in Cedar Rapids by trying to push his book so they kill the video.

They played a Gail video about some chick named Sarah Avery, a man-eating behemoth in California. Apparently the situation is being explained from the perspective of Brent Spiner. Anthony briefly talked about his encounter with the guy who talks to Gail over Skype (the one disguised as Brent) but couldn't solicit any info about why he's such an asshole. Gail reveals any woman over 250 pounds is an animal. Sarah is an obese woman who was coaxed by hot dog truck to finally lose some pounds. Gail eventually took evasive maneuvers and had her put into quarantine.

Sarah's footprints have the ability to swallow up entire cars. The hot dog truck was done for, but Hugh Jackman manages a glimpse of the overweight masses, featuring Bubba the Black Jesuit holding hands with his ginger boyfriend. Bubba saw Sarah in hot pursuit of the hot dog truck and the ginger got enthralled by the hot dog truck but Sarah's thick sweaty clit reached down and delivered the ginger boy to her mouth. Bubba cried over the loss of his dead boyfriend. Anthony plugs Gail's book and talks about how she's truly a holy author.

They moved into a G Man video trying to totally own Christopher Hitchens. The first in a long while, with Anthony Fantano revealing that G Man's beats during the rap battle with Creationist Cat fucked over the show due to copyright all because he rejected Fantano's. G Man was doing some serious mental gymnastics. G Man claims that TJ and other atheists worship Hitchens up in atheist heaven.

TJ discusses his anal goblins and trumps G Man's tired old arguments. G Man reveals he has no idea what an analogy is. He eventually starts to just ramble on so the peasants move on. Anthony commented that gTime Johnny is easier to follow.

They played a video about a crazy woman running for mayor of Toledo, Ohio for the fifth time. She looks and sounds like a fucking ogre, so even the cameraman stayed the fuck away, Scotty harassed her because she's a woman. She starts speaking insane in tongues, threatening that if she doesn't make mayor than God will destroy the city. She promises the end of potholes, political corruption, and to give everyone a pot of gold. Her true destiny may be in being Bernie's running mate.

End Of The Show

GTimeEdgelord

Peace, bitches.

The next video was from a modern day neanderthal aka Inbred Man with a Chinese shoe factory in the background. The video was against TJ, trying to poke at his confidence and determination. He informs everyone of the shocking truth that we're all made of flesh. TJ said he wouldn't turn down a gorilla burger.

They moved into a video about peneeisies. She claims she's not interested in male genitalia but that's she's always forced to acknowledge penises exist and TJ agreed. TJ describes an incident in which a man once used his penis to give him directions. TJ acknowledged that vaginas are less funny because they have less of a basic design and are harder to draw.

The peasants then move onto Crazy Craigslist Ads.

  1. First ad was read by Pantano in a Bernie Sanders voice looking to bring jobs to this country through male to male sex.
  2. Second was read by Ben. It was some guy looking for edging. Pantano had to explain it to Ben. They then engaged in gay lesbian sex.
  3. Third was read by TJ. It was some guy looking to deepthroat a stranger's throat like a slut. He compared his throat to a woman's vagina.
  4. Fourth was read by Scotty. It was a guy looking for a chick with a big booty looking to fart on his tiny dick.
  5. Fifth was read by Fantano in his Alex Jones voice. It was a guy looking to eat out some all-natural ass.
  6. Sixth was read by Pantano in a radio host voice. It was a poem for a guy looking to be a daddy for some unfortunate bitch. It was incredibly disturbing
  7. Seventh was read by TJ in the traditional pervert voice. It was a guy looking for a young muscular guy to "sponsor." He was horrible racist because no darkies allowed.

Anthony then sings the Why be an atheist? song. He then reminds us of his penis. They moved into a video by some guy named Eggman talking about the problems of trying to solicit nudes online. Fantano suspected he was born from a wooden doll come to life with magic. The peasants offer to give a John Cena shirt signed by all the peasants for a fan art contest. They wrap up the show.

Quotes

  • "Anyone who doesn't do drugs sucks." - TJ
  • "He's always behind you, TJ... especially in the shower." - Scotty on TJ's special relationship with Fantano.
  • "I am The Living Atheist." - Ben's plan for TJ's future persona.
  • "..pushing a random whale out of your pussy." - Tits Lady.
  • "They've turned the freakin' frogs gay!" - Anthony's Alex Jones impression.
  • "You could be making a difference." - Ben to Anthony.
  • "In all fairness this show is a cesspool of horrible things..." - TJ's take on DP.
  • "I too, am an opinionated jackass online."- TJ on Jenny.
  • "Everyone, help make Jenny McDermott famous." - TJ
  • "I know exactly how to rub you the wrong way." - Anthony builds sexual tension.
  • "Godly life, Godly rewards." - Scotty Kirk.
  • "The attempt to remove her gravity disrupting obesity..." - Gail Chord Schuler.
  • "Even Jesuits feel pain." - Ben breaks us the cold-hard truth.
  • "Chris Hitchens, an intellectual lightweight." - Scotty's impression of G Man.
  • "Down the udder." - The future of Toledo.
  • "Alright, Meg. Let's see that vaginer!" - TJ Kirk

Trivia

  • All of DP's money goes to drugs.
  • Scotty has a nasally voice because he has a deviated septum, luckily he has a sense of humor about it.
  • TJ desire to turn Benjamin Franklin's femur into a sweet bong.
  • The peasants were high as fuck.
  • When TJ gets an erection, it's like 25 inches long.
  • Anthony is ashamed of Scotty.
  • Scotty was too busy paying attention to Johnny's dog.
  • Jenny was a moustache away from being Hitler for Halloween.
  • Jenny McDermott should join the Opinionated Jackasses of the Internet.
  • Jenny smells like desperation.
  • Anthony Pantano is a piece of shit, but we love him regardless.
  • Anthony is part of the Scotty defense squad.
  • The Star Wars Trek fanatic has a confederate flag soaked in urine.
  • Socialism = Communism. It's that simple.
  • DP has never had an Asian as a guest on their show, unless you count Gad Saad.
  • Gail is better than anything Hollywood is putting out.
  • The Fantano family are fans of Gail's work and own a hard copy of one of her books.
  • G Man is just as stupid as ever.
  • There's a device that lets women piss while standing up.
  • Nostril sex.

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