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Episode 164

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"Everytime I go to a zoo and see the manatees I'm like, oh God!"
—TJ being a Manateesexual.
Episode 164 is an episode of Drunken Peasants. It featured the third appearance of BeyondPhere.

Highlights

  • The return of BeyondPhere.
  • The Butt Burglarising Butt King Extravaganza.
  • Uncomfortable sexual tension.
  • Josh Moronstein on guns.

Videos Played

  1. Jaclyn Glenn plagiarizing comments
  2. Cooking With Hoarders: Making Coconut Bread. part 1
  3. Atheist Get Robbed - TheAmazingAtheist and CultofDusty Scams (Part 1)
  4. TheAmazingAtheist Letter to Brett Keane
  5. Randy Quaid Arrested (not found)
  6. I’m Bisexual, But I’m Not… Confused !?! Uh ... What ??? YES YOU ARE !!! (Christian Response)
  7. 2 MINUTES of TRUTH on WHOS TO BLAME for MASS SHOOTINGS!!
  8. Homosexuals Love Pain And Abuse And They Act Like Demons
  9. Disarm Black Males

Start Of The Show

The episode started with a video of TJ raping Kaiser Scotty in the ass with eggs. The peasants discussed the future of the podcast and that there would be no show on Wednesday due to them renovating the studio. They shilled out their sponsors and made fun of Canada due to them approaching Thanksgiving in Canada, causing Scotty to rejoice.

They brought Australian breast connoisseur, BeyondPhere on the podcast. They talked about her drawing DP on her ass. TJ reveals he embraces the power of his man titties. TJ suggested Ben cut off his own dick to show his love of Feminism.

They then played a video about Jaclyn Glenn plagiarizing other YouTube atheists, internet articles, and even her own YouTube comments, basically becoming the next Brett Keane. Scotty in particular expressed he was disappointed in Jaclyn's actions.

The later discussed Jenny McDermott's befriending of who else but Brett Keane, however before they could ever talk about it on the show, the two began arguing. The two had a back and forth argument in the comments of a Drunken Peasants video. The two discuss Brett Keane's wife, Dawn, and her insanity for staying with Keane for over twenty years.They went into a Troll or Not a Troll video about a crazy hoarder. Everyone excluding Ben thought it was not a troll.

Brett2

They move into a video about Brett Keane, playing a segment intro about him for the first time. They discussed that the video was about TJ and Dusty Smith being slandered by Keane. Ben said that Dusty was shown the video and commented he would take Brett Keane to court for slander if Keane had any money to give. They then went into the video proper which began with Butt King's shilling. Scotty was furious throughout the whole video because he's sick of Keane. Keane used an uncredited TJFucksThings video of Dusty fucking TJ in the background. They went into the next Keane video about a supposed letter to Brett Keane by TJ which is shown to be complete bullshit. They bring up Keane's intense hypocrisy about e-begging. TJ suggested that on April Fools Day everyone be nice to Brett Keane because he's a fucking fool. They skip to the part of the video in which Keane discusses his falsified letter to TJ. TJ requests more pictures of Keane as a manatee, but in space, on an adventure. He even offers a hundred dollars to the winner.

Middle Of The Show

They later played a video about Randy Quaid being held in jail for trying to illegally hop the Canadian border.

They moved into a Vigilant Christian video about bisexuality and how supposedly bisexual people are just confused. TJ explains that obviously he's fully aware that he likes both men and women, and that it's not just as simple as one or the other. Scotty brought up how Jim Ass ousted Mario as Illuminati and that you can't trust anything this Canadian schmuck says. TJ tries to come onto BeyondPhere at least a hundred times in this one segment. They talk about a scenario in which Mario tries to get prison raped.

MariosLogic

Mario's entire argument.

They bursted into a fast talking Josh Moronstein complaining that shooting a lion shouldn't be different than shooting up a school, because the public judged the person in the former case and judged the weapon in the latter, but the peasants point out how his conclusion doesn't make any sense, TJ having had made a video about the public reaction to the event. The sexual tension reached an all time high. BeyondPhere left for a while to rub one out.

End Of The Show

Bubbles

The man in question.

They then moved into a video about a YouTuber that Ben claims to the be the biggest piece of shit featured on the show. The video is by a guy who calls himself the doctor of common sense and claims homosexual loves pain. Phere returns and the dude talks about a conversation he had with his wife about how people who stick things up their behind have to be evil. TJ described him as an African Mr. Clean. They then introduced and moved into the White Guilt Segment. The video first video was by the average black gun owner, completely unlike any white rednecks in the south. Phere commented that their white guilt was starting to show. They all discussed gun laws in America compared to Australia.

The peasants then move on to Crazy Craigslist Ads.

  1. The first ad was for a guy looking for a big dick (basically every other ad) by read by TJ as stereotypical Asian and TJ added a line about being a bad driver. It was beautiful.
  2. The second ad was read by Ben in the traditional radio host voice, the guy was looking for a morning face fuck.
  3. Third was an ad by Brett Keane read out by Scotty like a psycho murder. The ad was looking for someone to touch his chest on Cock Sunday.
  4. Fourth was an ad for Phere about a guy looking for someone to "empty their load" on his face. Phere felt incredibly impressed.
  5. Fifth was read by TJ in a completely disinterested voice looking for a big wiener.
  6. Sixth was an over the top troll ad by a "Fruit Daddy", it was the creepiest ad played on the podcast. TJ read the first part and Ben read the second.
  7. Seventh was a depressing ad read aloud by Phere, the only thing that can satisfy this woman is monster cock. She tries to use her health insurance to allure innocent men.
  8. Eighth was an ad read by Ben like Bill Clinton. The former president wanted to induce lactation on... a man?

They then read me and article by Ana Kasparian about rape culture. Nobody cared... but wait! It was actually presented in a fairly reasonable manner despite the clickbait title by using an example of female-on-male rape and how it isn't usually taken as seriously. Phere and the peasants claimed they actually agreed with the article, but the title was idiotic.

The peasants announced the conditions of doing the show the live and Ben plans to get Evan the Flavor on the show soon, possibly at the same time as Mario. They brought the show to a close.

Quotes

  • "Let's rape Scotty in the ass!" - TJ Kirk 2015
  • "Columbus, the city we live in is now called IndigenousPeoplesStan" - TJ thinking he lives in the UK.
  • "You kneel before all men because you're a sex object." - TJ to BeyondSphere.
  • "Nobody wants to rape Dawn Keane, come on." - TJ Kirk
  • "..keen for Keane on the tits..." - BeyondPhere
  • "They should kill my bitch wife" - Brett Keane Strokingwood.
  • "Canada is basically Mordor." - TJ's take on our friendly neighbours to the north.
  • "So they know they're hypocritical fucks, but they do it anyway?" - BeyondPhere responds to Buzzfeed's double standards on sexism.
  • "We're wondering why our kids turn out to be hoes?" - Josh Moronstein's opinion on all women.
  • "Excuse me sir, I'll take a cock sundae..." - TJ Kirk
  • "...if you don't like that, get someone else to suck your dick!" - BeyondPhere 2015. 10/10 Best Quote.

Trivia

  • The show is revealed to exist in a pocket universe, in which it is always the 90s.
  • Scotty can't count.
  • BeyondPhere praises God everyday that she isn't Canadian.
  • TJ can pass his dick off as a clitoris.
  • Brett Keane claimed his wife once had a successful YouTube channel.
  • Ben used to think G Man was a troll, but he still isn't convinced either way.
  • Ben is revealed to have an incredible evil laugh.
  • TVC is the male S.E. Cupp in BeyondPhere's eyes.
  • TJ was trying to fuck Phere the entire podcast.
  • Paul's world view is that Keane is a dumbass.
  • BeyondPhere recently moved out of East Kubumfuck, so there's less deadly spiders.
  • Scotty suggest TJ go to PC prison.
  • Ben used to dwell on Jewgrounds.
  • TJ reveals himself as the most fit and active man on the planet.
  • TJ believes in fairies.
  • TJ is a completionist.
  • Australians refer to McDonalds as Maccas.

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