- "He's got the AW HELL yeah-tism"
- —TJ's take on autism.
- The show gets ass raped.
- The tragic death of Poo Die Pie.
- The continued madness of Gail Chord Schuler.
- Brett Keane vs. Atheist Roo.
- The return of Patrick Coleman.
- Weekly Porn Reviewer
- George Carlin Illuminati Evanism Connection Revealed! Army of Heaven! Alien Invasion!
- "Hot" when you're "Not" (Comedy about Jesuit fame)
- Is Atheism is Unstoppable a Racist or here for Money?
- The Secret War On Shamanism
- Alex Jones is an Anti-Vaxxer (not found)
- gTime Johnny vs. The Government (not found)
- Flat-Earther Children Abducted (not found)
- Astral Projection Guy (not found)
- Atheism leads to Autism (not found)
Start Of The Show
The show began with a bunch of technical bullshit that was as enjoyable as having porcupines shoved up your anal cavity. The drunken audience went into mass hysteria as a result, burning various buildings and raping any nearby women. This is believed to have been caused by Ben spontaneously deciding to launch his new experimental rock band as the second coming of Captain Beefheart. They then pushed the air date back to 9:15 because they clearly need more time to shit around.
Eventually they set up a new show and finally got it running. Lance Sloane was revealed to be on the show until 11PM due to contractual obligation. Scotty announced he would be replaced by G man. TJ then murdered Lance Sloane and took over the podcast.
They then played a Troll or Not a Troll video about some guy who does weekly porn reviews. The peasants decided he was a troll because of the cheesy music playing.
Next up was the crazy people segment. First up was a fat neckbeard who claims George Carlin was a member of the Legion of
Doom Heaven but also that he himself is the biological father of Jesus. The peasants named off a bunch of crazy ways people "find God" including their toast. TJ reveals that the second coming came in 2008.
Next up was a Gail video talking about how people are conspiring against her to make out as crazy, clearly an unfounded accusation. She goes into detail about how her men's other lovers must be a Jesuit cloning conspiracy. Scotty points out the obvious question of why they would never clone Gail. Gail reveals that her marriage list is so long she can't keep track of all the men.
Next up was a Brett Keane video taking on Atheist Roo. The peasants went on a brief tangent about how Keane is a lazy fuck but then decided to move into the actual video. Keane ironically mocks Roo's creation of sock accounts even though he's the fucking forefather of many of the tactics Roo employs. Keane explains the situation as if he didn't even watch the fucking video and the peasants call him out on it. Keane also talks about how making videos criticizing Roo is morally reprehensible, even furthering the irony in this video. TJ pointed out that the video might as well be talking about Keane himself. The peasants put the video down like a dying dog.
Next up was a video by an old friend, Patrick Coleman. He discusses his origin as a shaman and the prejudices he faces in life because of it, he also recalls a tale in which he was put into a mental hospital. We learn there's a secret war on shamanism which is even worse than the Iraq War. The peasants extend an offer to Patrick to return to the podcast to discuss his shamanism.
Middle Of The Show
Next up was an Alex Jones video about how vaccines are fucking evil. Scotty takes the floor and expands that while vaccines have their negatives, it's far worse to go without them and anti-vaxxers are leading to a rise in disease. TJ reveals that when mothers get vaccines the babies come out as slush.
They then played a video by gTime Johnny who was apparently planned to appear on the show, but a wildfire severed his internet connection. Ben reveals Johnny to be an admin of the Church of Gail group on Facebook and the peasants think they should get together. Scotty calls the other peasants fucking world slaves. They then play the video and Johnny talks about how the government is corrupted, but with his own twist of course.
Next up was a video about a flat-Earther who tells a tale about how his children in Boston were abducted and probably murdered, all being said while in the most monotone voice ever. The kids were named "Praise" and "Apple" meaning they probably weren't in good hands to begin with. They never actually went into detail about the murder so the peasants took a break.
End Of The Show
They returned with a video of some crazy guy who believes "astral projection" should be taught in schools. Scotty tries to do it live but fails horribly. The man in question values astral projection even over geography. He claims the realm you visit is based on your individual character, so basically he admits that it's all made up bullshit.
Next up was a video asking if autism leads to atheism by Microsoft Sam. It's basically just another dumbass conspiracy theorist too afraid to show his own voice trying to change our entire world views. With absolutely nothing to back him up other than wild conjecture and correlation.
- "About to it the Drunken Podcast, the drunkest podcast in history." - The Second Coming of Captain Beefheart.
- "If you existence, they ask that you patron dot co DP" - The Second Coming of Captain Beefheart.
- "Over one thousand audio, including great sands EP" - The Second Coming of Captain Beefheart.
- "Now that we've A, sit and joy O" - The Second Coming of Captain Beefheart.
- "Coming to the armpit of American peasants pod TJ. News from an altered OH OH OH" - The Second Coming of Captain Beefheart.
- "Regular ass, private show, commentary, regular hangouts with the p'more." - The Second Coming of Captain Beefheart.
- "Excuse me Jesuits, how dumb do you think we are?" - I dunno Gail, you got a dime?
- "Brett Keane is like the sock account OG." - Scotty points out Brett Keane's massive street cred.
- "I smell Jesuit rape, extortion and greed." - Gail's heightened senses allow her to detect even the most abstract of concepts.
- "Maybe it's time I finally come clean, guys. I am also a shaman" - TJ's dark secret is exposed.
- "Help my AIDS go away, Mr. Shaman." - Ben taking to only rational and sound course of action upon his AIDS diagnosis during the Battle of San Francisco during the Militant Homosexual War of 2016.
- ''Lay your hands upon me and take away mine AIDS.''- TJ trying to get Patrick to save his fat ass on his death bed.
- ''Fuck you Windows 10!'' - Scoopler.
- "Dude, im totally trippin' balls!" - Scotty gets astral.
- Repzion briefly appeared in the chat to call himself a pussy.
- Scotty is the "best" host of the podcast.
- There's room for one more slut.
- There were random shit-for-brains cunts in the chat posting their IP addresses.
- God once appeared to TJ as a toaster.
- Christians have a Jesus boner.
- Mario's eyes have been blinded by Satan.
- Creationist Cat also appeared in the chat, proving that the chat is better than the podcast itself.
- Gail can smell a Jesuit conspiracy from a mile away.
- The year is 36 BK (Before Keane and, or Burger King).
- The new name for schizophrenia is shamanism.
- Ben is older than TJ and Scotty, so he's automatically always right.
- Isaac Newton. How does he work?
- Scotty's new name is Autism-is-Unstoppable.
- G-Time Johnny is an admin for the Church of Gail Facebook group.