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Episode 144

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"It's kind of an UNFUNNY situation."
―TJ being subtle.
Episode 144 is an episode of Drunken Peasants. It is the greatest episode of all time. Fuck 143, this is the real shit, Mahoney!

Highlights

  • The long-awaited return of Dusty Smith.
  • Weird Satanist guy named Onyx
  • Deez Nuts 2016.
  • Roosh V's valuable dating advice.
  • A drunken dance-off between TJ and Dusty.
  • Gail's continued madness.

Videos Played

  1. Woman Speaks some sort of language or backwards. (can't find)
  2. "Deez Nuts" for president
  3. joejinkyvideo - Emmanuel AME Church Shooting HOAX
  4. How To Approach Girls At Bars
  5. Rowdy Roddy Piper Illuminati Evanism Connection - Army of Heaven - They Live - Aliens
  6. France honors 3 Americans, Briton for stopping train attack
  7. Ohio considers Down syndrome abortion ban
  8. Trump, Bush not apologizing for 'anchor babies'
  9. Donald Trump Vs. Hilary at Summerslam (can't find)
  10. Weird Satanist Guy
  11. ISIS REKTS Artifacts (can't find)
  12. Why I'm NOT Christian - By Brett Keane
  13. "The Shimmering Sea: Robin Williams Murder" Audio Book Sample

Start of the Show

5. 4. 3. 2. 1 ... *TJ has to eat at IHOP some more * ... AND THE DRUNKEN PEASANTS ARE LIVE! This time with their overly angry southern sidekick, Cult of Dusty! Dusty reveals that his internet is poor so he killed T-Shirt Guy and annexed his house. Scotty had his name officially renamed from Scoopy to Snotty. TJ then named off his top ten personal favorite WWE wrestlers. TJ professes his love for the Overtaker and Double H. His real favorite is obviously Mid 90s Kevin Nash. They then brought on the Cult of Busty who talks about his white redneck ass. Cult of Busty then whined like a bitch about The Ambiguously Gay Duo dropping their T-Shirt deal. TJ and Ben continued to fellatio Busty until they made fun of his mid-life crisis. Busty then tried to assert that Mississippi isn't that bad yo and claims he's going to come back to youtube when Half Life 3 is released. Busty then says that "liberal group think" is the reason why liberals aren't as harsh on Muslims. Busty once again shows himself to be a freedom hater by vaguely stating that "religion needs to be eradicated". How we get there or do that Cultbust refuses to answer.  

The Peasants move onto an article about a fraternity that draped a banner asking women to have sex with them. Busty criticized their cheap usage of sheets instead of actually using something valuable. Bust of Culty then tells people who are offended by college guys asking women to have sex on their building to "bite a bullet", like the MRA piece of shit he is! They shill their shit and move onto a troll or not a troll segment. This case has a woman garbling nonsense in an American flag tank top. They make fun of her totally legit language like the racists they are!! They decide on troll and move onto a story about Deez Nuts as an Iowa candidate. TJ officially backs Deez Nuts as a candidate for president if he gets to be the Nuts's VP.  

Next on the fucking block is the pink monster from episode 143. This time he claims that the Baptist Church shooting in South Carolina by racist Dylann Roof is a hoax. Bust of Culty then shows how stupid he truly is by telling the world he used to be a fan of Alex Jones. How silly, Jones is obviously part of the Illuminati! The drunken pink monster then said that black people would all pay super close attention to Dylann because white teenagers are the bane of the black community. After racking his brain for several minutes the munster came up with some stereotypically black names like "Lamar". (hiiipower , lets ignore Dusty's uncomfortable age gap relationship)

Middle of the Show

Roosh V in the house! Time to get your uncomfortable uncles to learn the art of sleaziness! He starts playing with dolls like a real man to teach men how to pick up women as endorsed by NASA. Roosh continues to sociopathically view women as goals to be gained with his creepy beard and multiple STDs. He would represent himself with a Chewbacca doll but he couldn't find it. You must tap on her shoulder THREE TIMES at the bar! NO MORE NO LESS. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. (Candyman is as scary as Roosh V alone with you.) Voosh R suggests you wander aimlessly around the bar before approaching her in the easiest case. The next case is when the bar is packed. He tells people to push other women out of the way and follow Roosh's How To Fuck Women Who Totally Aren't Human Strategy Guide. He hides in the shadows behind a wall like a PUA Batman while staying wary of the evil cockblockers. This might have been the creepiest video ever.

Cult of Dusty coming straight from his PotatoCam, says he will beat anybody at a dance-off. They then play We Fucking Stupid (Up in Da Club) while Dusty Smith dances with Snotty and TJ. BEAT YOU TO DEATH. WITH A CLUB. Cult of Busty continues to suck drugs' collective cocks by saying he never had any bad experiences with drugs. Remember that kids! Next up is the twoof about Rowdy Roddy Piper! (As brought to you by Evan Lefavor showing us the truth that Piper was part of the Good Illuminati and the Army of God. TJ and Cult of Busty then go onto discuss They Live as a metaphor for the uber-rich. Somehow from that we got onto the topic of flying spaceships where Evan's beanie was made. It turns out the Kingdom of Heaven is a set of futuristic spaceships. Evan Lefavor is the King of the Kingdom of Heaven apparently, which means we all need to call for a Purple Wedding real soon.

They then move onto questions for Dusty Smith. Dusty admits he's a terrible, terrible racist. Dusty's favorite pokemon is Squirtle. Dusty has not stopped beating his wife. He has not seen Libertarian Socialist Rants pwning him. Dusty has mouth-AIDS. Dusty would recognize camel dicks as countries as they are fun to suck. Dusty eats his subs pedophile style. Dusty would make everyone a god like Mormonism. Dusty doesn't know when he will go back to youtube to appease his slave drivers at Google. Dusty has gained weight and doesn't want to be naked. Dusty would be honored to be drawn naked by BeyondPhere. Dusty prefers a sloppy blowjob to a non sloppy blowjob in the nature of some women. TJ plans to fuck the Chippettes as they are total sluts. They then cover the dirty Frenchies honoring Americans for stopping a terrorist. Musty says that he would gouge the terrorist eyes with his thumbs.

End of the Show

The peasants then cover a news clip of a Satanic Baphomet statue followed by an outrageously hilarious  appearance of Onyx, The Fortuitous, who is an overzealous follower of Baphomet and Senpai.

Next on the chopping block was a Butt King video about how he's a theist but totally not a Christian. The video was originally aimed at G Man who tried to prove Brett was really a Christian. The peasants then tried to call G Man but he didn't answer because he is currently in endeavored servitude to Matt Dillacunty. Next up a was another crazy Gail video, this one being an audio excerpt from her book. There's literally no fucking way to do this justice in text, but it includes saucey brain-to-brain sex, Star Trek actors, and the continued plotting of the Jesuit Order. All of Gail's wives had their penises removed by Chinese doctors for being too squeaky and sold on the black market.

The Post-Show

The post-show, where everyone is a star now, was largely uneventful and consisted of the peasants arguing with a video that said TJ is terrible for having had a meltdown on reddit. TJ played the victim card saying that his response was after a large scale hate campaign against him. Proving once again that TJ is garbage.

Trivia

  • TJ is too lazy to edit a top ten list. Even our dumbasses special snowflakes on the wiki can do that. You're garbage, TJ!
  • Dusty reveals he's on a hiatus from YouTube and has mostly turned his attention to Facebook.
  • Butt King ISN'T a Christian. He's actually a "Gawd-believer."
  • Matt Dillahunty's wife wants to fuck Dusty.
  • Brett Keane has a problem with The Bible, but not Jesus... yeah.
  • G Man's real name is Gerard Butler, not to be confused with the one aboard the Church of Gail.
  • Robin Williams had a very squeaky penis.
  • Some men's sole goal in life is to get some personal brain time with Gail.
  • Chinese Doctors sell penises on the black market.

Quotes

  • "Now it's time to show you my Trump card..." - TJ makes a witty pun.
  • "Satan's pretty cool." - The Fedora Satanist Guy talking to a reporter.
  • "Let's diss on Dillahunty." - TJ giving Matt Dillacunty a hard time.
  • "I would kill myself if I had a squeaky dick" - Dusty sympathises with Robin Williams.
  • "I haven't had brain-to-brain with Gail since 2011" - Gail's madness.
  • "I felt my penis tremble as we spoke." - TJ writes Gail-esque fanfiction.
  • "I had no penis at all! The Chinese doctors amputated my penis!"
  • "Gotta go home and fuck the old bag!" - TJ's impression of a middle-aged man.

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