- "Do we have any black people on this panel right now? MundaneMatt, are you black?"
- —TJ as The Amazing Racist
- Period blood for hair dye.
- Rush Limbaugh is in love with Donald Trump.
- The Subway guy's sex scandal.
- Feminist drivel extravaganza.
- Bloody Beautiful Hair ;)
- Rush Limbaugh On Donald Trump and Jesse Ventura (audio only)
- Jared Fogle Child Porn (can't find)
- Jared Fogle to plead guilty to child porn charges
- Why We Need To Talk About White Feminism - The Huffington Post
- The Worst Thing A Man Can Do
- The Most Important Question About Abortion
- Cities to Avoid Like the Plague | "Glenn Beck Radio Program"
- VEGAN GAINS vs THE AMAZING ATHEIST vs ME
- Who Am I Going to Kill?
- Is air conditioning sexist
Start of the Show
The Unfunny White Guilt Podcast began by whipping themselves with their belts and lamenting their skin color. Proceeding with the show, they gave their brief review of some random Hulk Hogan movie as apart of a scientific study on horrible spray tans.
It can also be noted that the Live Chat was enabled for the beginning of the show.
At last they actually made an attempt to earn their slave wages and began Troll or Not a Troll. This one featured an examination of vegan woman's period, and how period blood makes excellent hair dye. She went on to give a brilliant exhortation on the prospects of period blood as hair dye. The peasants actually decided it seemed legit.
Afterwards it was Rush Limbaugh, professional windbag with no volume gauge due to his deafness, performing felatio on Donald Trump. Limbaugh made his first mistake of bringing someone slightly less cognitively deficient than him on his show. He pointed out the obvious that Trump's comments on Megyn Kelly's period were odd and off color, however, Rush leaped to the defense his mistress, changing the subject. Rush then downed a scotch and gave his drunken appraisal of Jesse "The Body" Ventura. Moving on was some A-list reviews of Gail's book Jesus: The Eternal Bridegroom. Gail was deemed philosophically equivalent to Nietzsche and literarily equivalent to Ernest Hemingway. We couldn't agree more.
Next were the Weird Craigslist Ads, where they checked out, among other things, a pissing contest for the ladies, Canterbury McTrembletit's dating proposition, and just some normal dude looking for some good panties. Then they read an article about cops in Houston forcibly searching a black woman's vagina because they thought marijuana was in her car. This was of course entirely within their purview to do.
Ben then played some videos about the former Subway-spokesperson, Jared Fogle. TJ went on a rant about how Subway fucking sucks until they moved on to the next video, which was about Jared's recent scandal involving hiring a seventeen year old prostitute. Subsequent to their exploration of Jared's child perving escapades, they viewed another feminist infighting video.
Middle of the Show
The video was about "white feminism", which, according to them, is white women ignoring the struggles of black women in society. Basically just more fucking prattle, which shows that some feminists are so fucking crazy, that they're starting to turn on eachother. MundaneMatt compares modern Feminism to a cult. Also according to the video, you're not a bad person for not accepting feminism's dogmatic BS, you're just a ignorant piece of shit.
Next on the chopping block was a video by who else? Roosh V! He describes the worst thing any man could possibly do, which is apparently that some can get laid but can't get paid. But, even worse, is asking what an actual woman would want from him for them to be together. It would appear the feminists have banished him from the first world and is now hiding in Iran where he is now the gender policy advisor for the Ayatollah. This was evident by his hideous bowl haircut and terrorist beard. Roosh proceeded to deliver what was essentially just reverse feminism and treated women like a base and evil hive mind. Basically being female precludes you from advising a man on anything, no matter how intelligent you are. Of course the only alternative is too mindlessly accept all his tenets and buy all his books. Otherwise, you have no idea of how to follow the objectively rigid guidelines on how to be a manly man.
Soon after we received an enlightening lecture on the morality of abortion from Prager University delivered by the king turd himself, Dennis Prager. Mr. Prager did pretty much everything his patsies do every other video from Prager: present cleverly disguised logical fallacies as legitimate arguments by the bullet point with fancy ass graphics. At last the true entertainment arrived with Glenn Beck's list of Top 15 Cities To Avoid Like The Plague (AKA any city with black people, irreligiousness, and, or liberals).
End of the Show
To kick off the show's final leg they played a video from a Vegan Gains fanboy preaching the truth of veganism. Subsequent to this they moved onto the main man himself, Vegan Gains. The entire video was hilariously abhorrent apologetics for threatening to murder Daniel Sulzbach. His logic boiled down to, "these other people are immoral, so what's wrong with me being immoral by making violent threats?". The only way they could follow that up was with a sledgehammer of feminist proselytizing.
They went on about some fat bitch who thinks that suits are sexist, but TJ reveals that she's just another fucking fat "white feminist." Upon such a resounding dismissal of the fat bitch, they shilled MundaneMatt's lifeless ass and channel and ventured of to the ever glorious post-show not meant for YouTube plebes.
- DP is despised by MundaneMatt's viewership.
- MundaneMatt reveals that Rush is a walking corpse.
- According to Rush, Jesse Ventura had constant pizza parties while governor.
- TJ will read this trivia and get an erection.
- Hillary Clinton, Jared Fogle, and The Beast all shared child pornography through email.
- Scotty misspoke the show's name as, "The Drunken Pencils".
- Subway helped Jared Fogle do the deed.
- Ben prefers Scientology compared to Feminism.
- This is the worst episode they've ever done (don't blame us, TJ declared it, so it must be true)
- TJ is an idiot.
- Ben is an idiot.
- And we especially hate Scotty.
- The laws of physics do not apply in Portland, Oregon.
- Ben, as a potential deep-voiced middle-aged white dude, has a future job prospect on Glenn Beck's The Blaze.
- Ben's favorite film is No Holds Barred.
- Scotty's favorite movie is Garbage Pail Kids, and his second favorite film is No Holds Barred.
- TJ charts over 9,000 on the irrelevance-o-meter.
- Glenn Beck is revealed to be God.
- Vegan Gains is the only darky who doesn't like chicken.
- "I'm okay with both [asses], so I must be a true egalitarian." - TJ explains his lack of racial bias when it comes to hot asses.
- "You're being ignorant, Blanket!" - Ben's Michael Jackson impression.
- "You are a white feminist! You ignore intersectionality! That's a problem! Oh my goooooood!" - TJ getting possessed by Suey Park.
- "Chickens take lives everyday when they eat worms and bugs." - A YouTube commenter in Vegan Gain's video.
- "Subscribe to Mundane Matt, felate him on a daily basis" - TJ closes up the show.
|The Vegan Gains Saga|