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Episode 138

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"TJ should be having massive holographic orgies right now."
—Ben

Episode 138 is an episode of Drunken Peasants. This was the last episode before DP went to Las Vegas for a Star Trek convention where they nerdgasmed all over Dianna Troi's tits (Ben's favorite character) and where Ben fucked bitches and got money.

Highlights

Videos Played

  1. How To: Get A Blowjob In A Strip Club
  2. Anthony Fantano's 5 Reasons Scotty is the Best Drunken Peasant (not found)
  3. Why Did God Save Me?
  4. The Vigilant Christian's Freemasonry Connection, 100% proof: Research Report
  5. Star Trek Illuminati Connection Revealed - Based on a True Story - Aliens are Real - New Technology
  6. Hooking Kids on Sex II
  7. Religious Tolerance: Made in America
  8. Destroys Atheism (Logical Proof for God) - in few seconds
  9. I will be a anti same sex marriage activist
  10. INTERNET REVEALS SHOCKING TRUTH ABOUT JESUS!!!!!! 
  11. Why The Amazing Atheist Should Go Vegan
  12. Man shoots down a drone with shotgun
  13. Puerto Rico Debt Crisis
  14. Teen stabbed at Jerusalem gay pride parade dies
  15. Man Going To Jail For Petting Cougar At Zoo
  16. Woman Screams Rape While Being Arrested After Claiming She Doesn’t Have to Follow Laws

Start of the Show

The show began with the standard lameassery of TJ and Ben talking their worthless heads off instead playing videos like they're paid to do.

They finally started playing videos, the first one being a Troll or Not A Troll, featuring KevDawg , the most MLG strip club attendee in known history. He explained to us that getting fellatio in a strip club was a matter of color-coded clothes.

Due to that fact that the Peasants were feeling generous tonight though, they did a second Troll or Not A Troll, this time featuring Bullshithony Trolltano. He brilliantly elucidated on how Scotty was a legend, and the very best, the best there ever was. The Peasants conceded this and TJ desperately attempted to call Scotty and get him back. Scotty, however, being the inherently superior being he is, he indifferently rejected the proposition for his lucrative career of ass modeling. The Peasants were left mortally devastated and ended their lives on the spot.

The next video was a hilariously titled feature from Brett Keane called "Why Did God Save Me?". I dunno Brett, maybe God needs a human food vacuum to clear the streets of stray food products once the End Times begin. The entire video was basically Brett straight up making himself sound like fucking Superman to prove the Gawd made him moral. Look, up in the sky, what's stopping the meteor? Is it a pterodactyl? Is it a jumbo jet? No... it's Brett Keane! Apparently it was crazy time so they started with some Christian explaining more Armageddon babble .

Finding Keane impossibly boring as usual, the Peasants quickly continued to go off the rails on a crazy train with the lovely Evan Lefavor. He gave a lengthy explanation of how the Illuminati and Federation from Star Trek inspired all modern technical advancements and how Illuminati angels gave us Star Trek to prepare us for the future.

Middle of the Show

After the revelation that all of our modern technology is based off of Illuminati angel's heavenly gift of Star Trek and their savior. We moved onto some Planned Parenthood conspiracy theory bullshit. He claims that Planned Parenthood's sole purpose is to kill children and sell masturbation and sex to children.

Speaking of revisionism, Prager University wants you to know Christianity is somehow responsible for America's religious freedom. In spite of the fact that all the Christians that ever came here have been divisive about who gets to decide what concerning religion.

Here's a secret: The Mormons are right! #BringBackThePuritans. They decide to skip a bald rape supporter for Hamza Tzortzis (aka professional Dawah Man) making the case for God's existence. He claims that since you know your great great great great grandmother, you therefore know god exists! They utilized a shitload of other nonsense apologetics not worth listing because of how run of the mill they are.

The next video was a man who looks like the dude from The Human Centipede 2 and Mr. Magoo announcing that he's anti-same-sex marriage because it's part of the plan to control the country through one big government. Next up is Joshua Feuerstein telling us that the internet has exposed a shocking truth about Jesus! And that truth is that Josh is oblivious to what proper nouns are.

Next up is a video by VeganGains, which Scotty would staunchly defend due to the demonic influence of the succubus. He makes the logical point that veganism is right and is positive for the environment and TJ is wrong as he always is, unlike Scotty. TJ, pitying him, advertised Vegan's channel to make up for it all. So, be decent person and go check out the Vegan Faggot out on YouTube.

Then, a drone gets shot by down by a paranoid redneck fighting Pedo-ISIS and Puerto Rico is 72 billion dollars in debt according to the blink bitch reptilian Morse code expert.

End of the Show

The Peasants move onto the story of a young woman who was stabbed to death in Jerusalem at a gay pride parade by what is ostensibly an ultra-Orthodox Jewish terrorist (proving that religious terrorism is not exclusive to Islam). TJ mocks what someone like Brother Nathanael might say, somehow linking Judaism and homosexuality even though the two are at odds with one another as shown by the attack itself. Large crowds gathered to pay tribute to the girl that tragically lost her life.

Nearing the end, they play a story of an Ohio man who was arrested for petting a cougar. Finally, they riff a video of a woman bullshitting law with a police officer before he can "assist her". She claims that she doesn't have to abide by laws because she is a "free inhabitant" which means she is someone who has the rights promised by the Constitution but not the need to abide by the laws of the state. She struggles with the police officer and claims that he is "raping her". I'm sure real rape victims feel fine about this woman.

Trivia

  • The hosts roofied Jim Ass last episode.
  • Scotty was not on this show as he was engaging in femdom with Monica.
  • Scotty was fired from the show and is now an ass model.
  • Planned Parenthood is a conspiracy to turn kids into perverts in the name of science.
  • TJ's ass is almost fully vegan; the only meat that goes in there is still alive.
  • Homosexuality was invented by Jews.

Quotes

  • "Hey, Brett Keane, stop attacking your family!" - Ben
  • "Even Jesus uses Skype." - Ben
  • "Planet Earth is an underdeveloped slave planet." - Evan LeFavor
  • "Don't tread on me!" - Ben going insane
  • "We have also mastered time travel as well." - Evan LeFavor
  • "Now the Jews are going all gay." - TJ
  • "Wake up and smell the Jew."
  • =TJ"That's the service I provide - beating your ass." - TJ as a sexy cop
  • "This is when police brutality is called for." - TJ when dealing with
VeganGainsSaga The Vegan Gains Saga
VGSwitchblade
Hit List

Trisha PaytasMrRepzionDrunken Peasants PodcastThe Vigilant Christian

Episodes

122138141142148
Guest:150194

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