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Episode 132

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Episode 132 is an episode of Drunken Peasants. It features the first appearance of Liberal Viewer.

Videos Played

Start of The Show

3. 2. 1... SMOKE PAN EVERYDAY! The podcast starts with the new shill intro in which a mysterious unknown member of the peasants coughs over. Truly we are dealing with high value content. Scotty is once again replaced by Scotty Cena (who is far superior) due to being enslaved. TJ and Liberal Viewer, who looks like Gabe Newell got off his Steam money mountain to take a jog, discuss the purpose of the media in a segment slightly more riveting than a reading of Noam Chomsky's Manufacturing Consent by the boring guy from the Dry Itchy Eyes commercials.

They start light with a video about the Chattanooga shooting. How fun! The shooting resulted in the deaths of four Marines and wounded three others. It is being investigated as a possible terrorist attack due to the assailant's Arab background. This is in fact the first time that Hitler's town has been popular since the American Civil War.

The Peasants then move onto news about Donald Trump's insane poll results, most likely as a result of his racism. Somehow this tactic works in spite of him being a lying sack of sleazy corporatist scum. There's also apparently been some Twitter shit-slinging between the GOP candidates. Jeb Bush and Rick Perry calling Trump out as an extremist. Oh the irony!

Next was Gail Chord Schuler giving a heartfelt obituary and tribute to Satoru Iwata, the recently passed CEO of Nintendo. According to her, Mr. Iwata passed away from laughing to death after reading a job application. He laughed specifically because the applicant was so below company standards. She has decided to start a "Nintendo College" of sorts to teach new Nintendo employees computer programming, mathematics, and physics in his honor. She said it will be taught specifically for people attempting to enter the gaming industry as a program. Submit those applications now!

When they became bored of this, they read an article about an app to film sexual consent to confirm that both parties consented. They concluded it was all around irrelevant and lame.

Their second print article was about a lawsuit against Rainbow City police officers for tasing a teenage girl while she was having a grand mal seizure at a concert. Just another good cop doing his job to subdue the city's criminal element. Moving on was Barack Obama discussing why he pardoned a load of shiftless, evil criminal druggies.

This was interrupted by the official right-wing division of the "I'm offended" squad voicing his concerns over a Slave Leia action figure. Little does he know about the Jabba The Hutt tit licker action figure as designed by TJ Kirk. The next thing they covered was multiple GOP candidates voicing their opinions on Donald Trump's candidacy. Most of them basically wanted the reporters to fuck off and cover their own campaigns for the sake of their egotism. One of the FOX pundits covering it possessed the glorious and rare 70s porn and pedostache hybrid. May he ascend to the highest echelons of the face bush eminence!

Midde of The Show

By the middle of the show, it would appear the KKK are depressed and in mourning over the loss of the Confederate flag on state capital grounds. They KKK have bravely decided to go forward with their rally in their area in spite of such a devastating loss. Random KKK lady #257 has vouched that she would in fact help a darkie if they was broken down on the roadside. She does not however support Dylan Roof's slaughter of nine black church goers. However, if them darkies are done selling the dope in the back allies of that there hood, then she would've been in full support of Dylan fulfilling his duty as a good, clean whitey and massacring them evil, dope dealer darkies.

The nightly police brutality quota hadn't been filled for the night, so the Peasants covered the police breaking into the home of some random lady in Arizona and sexually harassing and lecturing her over not submitting to his fascism. Unsurprisingly he had absolutely no legal or procedural reason for entering the home. He also received a paid vacation afterwards and swiftly retired from the force in the midst of the internal investigation. What a complete and utter coincidence. For an overdose of oppression of people's rights, they proceeded to a story about feminists trying to get some old dude arrested for disagreeing with them on Twitter. Thus proving yet again that Canada is the scourge of the world.

End of The Show

To take a little pressure of the fascist-o-meter, they decided to play around a little with the retard-o-meter. So they moved on up to Joshua Feuerstein combating the evils of trannies, Satan and Caitlyn Jenner. It would appear that deer and humans are highly comparable on a cognitive level. So therefore bucks can identify themselves as does and that's how trannies happen kids. Plus Gawd hates them and sin. End of story.

To experiment further with the retard-o-meter, they covered another video from Prager University, this time about how 'dem liberals have done plotted out treacherous economic pitfalls for good ole Murica ever since Social Security done started up.

The way they done managed this was through social safety net programs attempting to limit the impoverishment and unemployment that was catalyzed by overspending on defense and other shit, cutting taxes for rich fucks, etc. in the first place. The final and maximum stone to drop on the scales of the retard-o-meter was Ken Ham elaborating on how 9/11 was catalyzed by the sins of man. The answer was of course praying, praying for atheists and all the other scum of the Earth. America, is how shockingly, "under the judgment of God" according Ken, and we shall see more of God's wrath because of the recent legalization of homosexuality. By the way, in order to truly repent, you must join his congregation for a nominal fee of 200.00 USD. Because TJ and Liberal Viewer are pussy ass mother fuckers, the show ran shorter than usual.

But, because Scoopler is an anal splinter, they decided to let to him languor in the parking lot a little longer and played some generic feminist dogma. After running through the same fifty shades of feministic propagandist bullshit, they figured it was high they ended this fucking show. Plus Scoopler, although an anal splinter, would've entered the house in full Nazi regalia with his SS officers to drag TJ out if they went any longer.

Quotes

  • "If a scandal takes more than 1 sentence to explain, 50% of Americans are just lost." - TJ
  • "I wish I could of been a Hitler Youth." - TJ
  • "First they see the titties, then they commit the homicides." - TJ
  • "Look, it's a devil! They want people to be a devil!" - Ben
  • "Nothing better than an armed nazi rally!" - TJ
  • "The Klan is so cool." - TJ
  • "The Klan ain't so bad after all!" - TJ
  • "We know, black people, they're just selling crack, right?" - Ben
  • "You say you're a liberal - next thing you know you're in league with Stalin." - Ben
  • "Transgenderism is demonic!" - Joshua Feuerstein
  • "I just want America to be weak." - Ben exposing his communist thinking once more
  • Allen: “What was gay about the World Trade Center? I missed something in that argument.” Ben: “It was totally gay!” TJ: “Oh, they were like 2 dicks reaching ever towards the sky mocking god! How dare you mock god with your phallic towers symbolizing homosexual unity!”

Trivia

  • TJ shot Dylan Roof's famous Confederate flag photos.
  • TJ is a committed non-voter.
  • Canada (you know, the hive mind Canada) hates free speech, as well as free expression.
  • The founder of Prager University is a filthy Joo.

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