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Episode 124

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Episode 124 is a Drunken Peasants episode. The show started slightly late because Scotty was out getting gay-married (yes, he asked Monica first). The chat was open in celebration of the legalization of marriage equality on a federal level in the United States.

Videos Played

Start of The Show

Seeing as homosexual marriage was finally legalized, the Peasants decided to open the chat, seeing as Murica's moral integrity has truly began to crumble anyways.

They then discussed the move from Podbean to Soundcloud and then the upcoming Eggs 2. The first thing they played was Obama's speech about the federal legalization of homosexual marriage.

Next, they played a thing from Fox bitching about how "Jaysus is under siege!" because men can fuck each other in the ass under a legitimate marital pretense now. The Fox hosts also complained about how tax exempt institutions i.e. their golden chapels might not be tax exempt for much longer.

Afterwards, it was onto some disgruntled old white man complaining about gay marriage being legal and how America is now a fascistic state ruled by sodomy and the Supreme Court/cultural elitists. He uproariously invoked slavery, and tried to explain how good moral Christians are now slave to the whims of the Supreme Court and gay people. Even though the book he was using to rationalize his homophobia also endorses slavery. He considered the event tantamount in negative impact to 9/11, slavery, and Pearl Harbor. Hyperbolic much?

Then, they played Glenn Beck claiming that he'll lose his FCC license because gay people can marry now. Sure Glenn, you're so oppressed, with your millions of dollars and enormous radio station. And of course militant homofascists will just censor you for disagreeing with gay marriage, because, you know, the first amendment means nothing until Jesus gets involved. Then, they played another video of a FOX anchor acting as though the third world war has been instigated because of legal gay marriage, saying there will be rampant anti-religious lawsuits thanks to it now. They moved onto Franklin Graham on FOX saying "the government is now legalizing/recognizing sin" and declaring that he will in fact be holding onto his meaningless sentiments of bigotry because he holds onto it in his heart (what an astonishing feat of bigo... I mean resolve).

Inevitably, there was a another video by The Vigilant Christian saying the Illuminati satanic agenda has advanced further because of the legalization of gay marriage. For some ambiguous reason he finds it relevant to complain about it's legalization in America, despite being Canadian where it's been legal for about a decade. TJ also discussed his desire to tie Mario to a radiator and anally rape him while yelling disparaging remarks towards God. TJ proposed a holy union of cock between him and TVC, even being as generous as to offer a spit roast between him, TVC, and his brother. Mario feels anyone who disagrees with the Bible is a "Christianophobe".

Middle of The Show

They moved on to Joshua Feuerstein declaring the instigation of the Christian holocaust by Obama and his administration, because Obama is not a real Christian. Feuerstein also made demonstrable the typical Conservative flip-flop concerning states' rights, and how when something they disagree with happens on a state-by-state basis, a government crackdown is required. But when the states individually uphold something they believe in, the government shouldn't dare to intrude. Feuerstein continued by comparing Obama to Hitler for his reactions to various scenarios. He also idiotically compared the race riots to Hitler's social engineering of Germany and ascribed the race riots to a clever division of America by Obama.

After they finished with Josh Fuckstain, they took a break. They soon returned and shilled their hotel bullshit.

The next video they played was of some shit stain kvetching about DP's utter contempt for John Cena's lameass-ery. Finally, after annihilating the pro-Cena dipshit, they moved onto the incomparable, the legendary, the magnificent, The Beast. He basically repeated the entire trite diatribe he's regurgitated fifty million fucking times. He even admitted it too. Yet he persisted in stupidly yammering on about how girls sleep with men who aren't unintelligent, hideous, sexist fucks such as himself. The Beast expressed his views that women should sacrifice their happiness to give him sex as well. Ben mused about asking The Beast to be on the show.

End of The Show

They moved onto some random white trash bastard expressing his disgust over gay marriage. He feels himself to be a tough guy simply on the basis that he openly espoused his bigoted stupidity. According to him, all gay people are "feminine" and totally emasculated. Sure man, tell that to Rob Halford... and be sure that you're ready to become Harley road kill. He of course utilized the Bible as justification for his homophobia.

Next was Wild Bill for America deliberately misinforming everybody again, this time sharing an anecdote of a school where one of the teachers is campaigning for open acknowledgement of the legitimacy of homosexuality. He claims that the Supreme Court is being bigoted against Christianity and its beliefs by making its ruling (real shock there). He made another bullshit claim that the Founding Fathers created the education system to educate children in the ways of the Bible.

Next was gTime Johnny singing about how women and child birth fit into his philosophy. Presumably while baked as all fucking shit. Afterwards was Mark Dice proselytizing to/harassing to some random black kid about the Bilderberg Group, the Illuminati, and the Bohemian Grove. They were going to play some Florida conservative circle jerk, but, because of the time, moved onto to Stupid Ads.

The Stupid Ads started off with Jesus Christ Bail Bonds, which was basically two black dudes yelling "BAIL OUT!" into the camera. Then there was some wallet organizer for white fucks with too many credit cards, available in the beauteously vibrant colors of black, brown, and dark red.

Then they had a surprise stupid ad from gTime Johnny, shilling his all new "Human Trailer" comparing it to the works and art of Nikola Tesla and Joni Mitchell. Basically it was just a golf caddy on wheels tied to Johnny's waist by a belt. Most innovatively of all, the wheels had brakes. The next one was a legalized child torture device to strap your child in and alter the angle at which he or she is held for arbitrary reasons.

Then, they played a possible troll ad for "Popheads", great for making your hair phallic as shit. Finally they played a commercial for Bright Time Buddies, some weird ass glowing things meant to watch kids in their sleep. And then the Peasants all fucked off to marry each other, ending the episode.

Quotes

"Thanks Obama! You forced me to get gay-married!"
—Ben
"Ben is now officially a sodomite."
—Scotty
"Execute Order 66: Gay Marriage."
—TJ
"Sin is a legal term."
—TJ
"I'm Christianophobic."
—TJ
"Hey Mario, I think you're pretty cute..."
—All hosts in one way or another
"Obama is using the same tactics as Hitler!"
—Joshua Feuerstein

Trivia

  • This is the first show to be supported by the Soundcloud platform and not Podbean.
  • Eggs 2 was announced to be happening. There will be a trailer, as well.
  • Bricks 3 was also announced.
  • TJ went to take a piss and it was all blood.
  • The hosts want a polyamorous marriage with The Vigilant Christian.
  • The Drunken Peasants want to get The Beast on the show.
  • The Unscotty Comedian is the love child of Scotty and The UnFunny Comedian.
  • 6/26 is the new 9/11.
  • Gay Marriage can't melt steel beams.
TheVigilantChristianSaga The Vigilant Christian Saga
MarioYoga
Challengers

The Drunken Peasants PodcastCreationist Cat Vegan Gains

Episodes

273335373840414446475160646771929497113120124125130135137143145147149154158160The New and Improved Drunken Peasants
Guest: 148150

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