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Episode 1

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"I just wanna grab him with his Conway Twitty hair and just let him take the plunge. I want him to slobber on my balls."
—TJ's response to some homophobic douche bag.
Episode 1 is an episode of Drunken Peasants. It was the very first episode of the podcast after being renamed from the experimental No Bullshit Podcast.

The audio was bad, there was no video or host cams. The length was also shorter than what would eventually become the length of an average DP episode, being only an hour and a half long.


Start Of The Show

The Peasants played a video about Fox News trying to blame climate change on president Baraq Obama. Ben and TJ later did their impression of Rush Limbaugh talking to a fan, with TJ playing the role of the fan and Ben playing the roll of Rush.

Another video was tackled in which a Utah sheriff tries to argue that homosexuals are shoving their agendas down this throat, as if there are only so many rights to go around.

They later play a video about the Iraqi city of Fallujah being reclaimed by al-Qaeda. The peasants discuss Obama's lies about leaving the Iraq war within sixteen months and instead went by the Bush timetable. TJ talks about how Bush was such a goldmine for comedy and that he wish he took more opportunity of him during his presidency. They read some stupid conservatives comments on the same video. TJ then comments on Obama's incredibly brutal foreign policies and how Republicans would love him as he only had an R next to his name.

Middle Of The Show

This led into a video about Obama discussing how unemployment insurance is important to expansion of the US economy despite Republicans saying otherwise. They played a Herman Cain quote about his 9-9-9 plan but then returned to the topic. They mostly agreed with Obama on the subject because it prevents companies from fucking over people who can't currently work. They briefly play a clip of Rand Paul's take on the subject. They then took a break and played Berserkyd's music on the show for the first time.

They returned and discussed TJ Fucks Things who would later become known as Clancy for the first time. They then discussed a video about how men's health research in Australia gets only get a quarter of the funding that women do. To follow up they then brought the various other cultural biases against men and pointed how Feminists think everything wrong in the world is caused by The Patriarchy. They then discuss Anita Sarkeesian and Rebecca Watson being total fraudulent cunts.

End Of The Show

The peasants were then asked about the legalization of prostitution and Ben discusses his experience with them in Amsterdam. He also talks about how he once saw the outside of a "fuck theatre" and the special banana show hosted at one of them, TJ claims he would fit right in. TJ then played another story about terrible sex and relationship tips from the far right, written by a biased liberal website.

They then read out viewer comments, which can be seen as a precursor to the Q&A segment. They first discussed how the Freemasons aren't a secret society at all with many people wearing their membership like a badge of honor. They then answered a question about how many people in America don't know left-wing libertarianism exists, but TJ acknowledges there are some exceptions, himself formerly identifying as a libertarian. They go on a tangent about raising the minimum wage in America and how the positives outweigh the negatives.

They were then asked about what views they had that were considered right-wing but they said he had nothing in common with modern day establishment Republicans. The last question was about if the peasants plan to cover entertainment stories in the future and TJ responds that he encourages fans to give input about how to expand the show and make it more entertaining. With that they finished the show with some metal.


  • "I feel dignified being a host." - One of TJ's first quotes on DP.
  • "Hehehehe. Stocks." - TJ's impression of Beavis.
  • "The people have rights too, not just those QUERS." - TJ pretends to be a redneck
  • "Don't shove your agenda down my kid's throats!" - The same homophobe getting angry because he wants his children's throats all to himself.
  • "Fox news said it's cold outside, it must be cold outside." - TJ's impression of a Fox News viewer.
  • "Only a true man can open a ketchup bottle." - TJ Kirk
  • "Here's where the president came on me!" - TJ's impression of Monica Lewinsky.


  • The term pan used by the peasants to describe marijuana was first used here.
  • Bill O'Reilly's second job is applying tape to the nipples of Fox News pundits.
  • This is the first podcast to coin the term "frigid armpit of America" as a nickname for Ohio.
  • A sound clip of Beavis and Butthead laughing was played several times during this episode.
  • Appropriately, it was by far one of the shittiest episodes. Yet it's still way better then almost every episode of any of the DP Ripoffs.
  • George Bush didn't have to balls to stand up to Vladimir Putin.
  • According to Australia, men are the disposable gender.
  • There were once political parties dedicated to removing Freemasons from the US government.


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