DPP Wiki


750pages on
this wiki
Add New Page
Talk0 Share
Not to be confused with The Egg Bitch
Crazypayne93 (AKA Egghead; real name Colton Payne Simpson) is a YouTuber and fan of the show,

He was dubbed "Egghead" by TJ because of his oval-shaped head and he is often made fun of by the Peasants. It is highly requested by his "fans" that Egghead be crucified so that humanity may escape damnation.


His head looks like an egg.

On Drunken Peasants

Egghead is most well known for sending the peasants questions frequently early in the show's history, strangely the videos eventually stopped coming in, and it was presumed he was hospitalized due to a rogue seahorse attack.

After a long hiatus from the show, Crazypayne made his return with two new questions for DP. The questions were filmed outdoors in the middle of the night, probably because Egghead was burying a dead body. The first one was asking if the peasants believe there would ever be world peace, and the other one was about if TJ would fuck a banana with hot sauce on it, the peasants said no to both.

In June 24th's episode, Egghead asks DPP what they will do on their summer vacation. Scotty responds with "SEX, DRUGS, AND ROCK & ROLL!"

Recently, Egghead has been sending DP gifts for their mail segment. The worst gift he ever sent was a copy of his Father's newest western, Canyon Trail. Its safe to say that the peasants still hate him for doing that.

On February 25th, 2016 Egghead finally became a $100 Patron. Its only a matter of time until Egghead makes his grand debut on DPP, much to the peasants dismay. This came to life on Episode 215.

Egghead made a appearance on Episode 260 he was given many strikes by Paul for his failure to stop being the personification of cringe.

On Episode 275, Egghead has his ass fucked in a debate with Galen, over being misleading in important details regarding a legal case of child abuse by his fiance. The reasoning that Galen rammed his ass was that Egghead started a Go-Fund-Me for his legal fees, and obviously, the details of the case are needed. There is still debate on whether Egghead had intended to be misleading. One thing is for certain however; this has earned Egghead the title of Supreme Overlord Grandmaster Black Belt of Pure cringe. This is not the kind of title that can be won by normal means. It is truly an accomplishment for Egghead, he should be proud. Due to the unmeasurable levels of cringe, the episode is almost unwatchable but, because of Galen's uncontrollable ability to interrupt everyone and never let them get a word in edgewise, especially Egghead, there are just enough breaks from the cringe to suffer through it for a DP veteran watcher. Those who were not regulars of the show may have suffered fatal levels of cringe. It is rumored these watchers are still recovering from PTCD (Post Traumatic Cringe Disorder).


  • Rumor has it that he enjoys hentai.
  • This is not a rumor.
  • His family makes campy movies.
  • It is not known exactly which type of egg Egghead's head is made of. It cannot be a human egg, as those come far too close to vagina than anything associated with the Drunken Peasants ever could be. Egghead did not make an appearance on DP for many weeks in early-mid 2015. This is because he was in a coma due to a rogue seahorse attack.


    Egghead's take on the situation.

  • He has voiced his support for the DP Wiki via his Twitter.
  • He has a strong hatred for The Vigilant Christian, which is totally understandable.
  • He has a YouTube channel with over 3,000 subscriptions[1].
  • He appeared as a guest on the Drunken Recap.
  • On July 7th, 2015, Egghead created The Egghead Hour.
  • One of his videos was downvoted by a ton of Atheist Roo's fans.
  • He gave his take on the former DP Wiki drama situation.
  • He is secretly a failed clone of Bruiser Brody....Just check his fur covered boots
  • He has his own theme music.
  • According to Rybi he DDOS'd the paesant's during [1]Episode 270.
  • He is voiced by Egghead.


  • Rebel.
  • His dad, Egghead Sr.
  • Being a lazy fuck.
  • An artist's representation
  • #WhiteKnight
  • paul's son in the faith

External Links



Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.