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"Just buy your own copy, it's only 9.99!"
—Derek Savage, shilling like never before!
Derek Savage, also known as Daddy Derek is a film producer known for his piece of shit movie Cool Cat Saves Shaves The Kids. He lets out his secret desire as a furry in his films and is married. He pays his wife to dress as a huge cat and constantly asks for favors, not sexual favors, just favors. What a sick, disgusting, mysoginistic pig. He also sucks Erik Estrada's dick.

Cool Cat Saves The Kids

"I LOVE BABIES!"
—Cool Cat
Cool Cat Saves The Kids is Derek Savage's masterpiece and the greatest movie ever made. The plot of the film is that some fat bully tries to harass children, so Cool Cat stops him by calling him a worthless piece of shit with no friends, yelling at him to stop, and having psychedelic trips that are supposed to resemble sleeping.

Halfway through the movie, Cool Cat and Daddy Derek go to Hollywood and create the greatest song ever. Many people believe that the song exists so Derek could show off his guitar, but in reality it is a part of his master directing skills that allowed the movie to be the success that it is. Several minutes are spent to talk about cars, because that's the kind of stuff that children are into.

Cool Cat later goes to make sandcastles with his sex slave friend when the fat bully goes and kicks sand in Cool Cat's face. This scene also features two shitty, B-list celebrities.

Cool Cat then goes back to his home and enters a writing contest. This is so Derek Savage can shamelessly promote his other masterpiece GamesULove Trolley the Trout. It also features Cool Cat doing several exercises for some reason. Cool Cat also stops the same fatass bully from stealing candy from babies (yes, the villain is literally stealing candy from babies), and give advice to look both ways before crossing the street, just to immediately break his rule.

At the end of this amazing film, Cool Cat and his two victims find a gun. The bully then finds the gun and takes it to school, which gets him arrested by a male porn star. Cool Cat then wins the class election (apparently Cool Cat is a child) and the movie ends with some message about how bullying is not fun or something.

Unknown to plebes, there exists a secret ending in which Cool Cat viciously rapes all of the children in the film while Derek savagely masturbates to their tears. This scene is notable in that it not only caused the formation of ISIS and the creation of AIDS, but it is also considered the most popular scene from any movie in Canada, Texas, and among Brett Keane's Family.

Reactions to this masterpiece were surprisingly low. Many evil reviewers on the Internet believe this to be one of the worst movies ever made, but they're full of shit so Daddy Derek did the right thing and had them censored by getting their videos removed, as anyone who hates this movie should be. Including a spat with I Hate Everything. And it's not like Daddy Derek lied about IHE sending trolls to him, and it's not like Daddy Derek lied about being a law firm to try and bully him into removing the video and it's not like IHE actually encouraged people to watch it, because of how funny it was (unintentionally so albeit)

However, many of the creators of said videos counter claimed and got their videos reinstated. YouTube creator Bob Thomas of Bobsheaux put it best when he said that he was going to do what Cool Cat taught him and stand up to bullies, starting with Daddy Derek admitted to being a bully who hates Daddy Derek and loves being an asshole.

Marvelous Lines Written by the Glorious Writer Derek Savage

"That kid kicked sand in Cool Cat's face!"
—The horror!
"Maria has pretty hair, so I'm gonna text her it's UGLY! HAHAHA!"
—The greatest villain ever
"Dher he is!"
—A well thought, perfectly performed line. Take notes future directors, because this is the best line ever spoken on film. Not even a team consisting of Stanley Kubrick, Orson Welles, Alfred Hitchcock, and Quentin Tarantino working together for several years could ever hope to write a line this good.
"I love all kids!"
―Cool Cat

Trivia

  • Despite owning a signature Van Halen Guitar, which he also has signed. He's a pretty shitty guitar player. Clearly no one told him that buying a Van Halen guitar, doesn't make you as good as van Halen.

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