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Creationist Cat

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"If God really is everywhere then I feel sorry for the part of him dat's up our butts."
―CC[src]
CC

Creationist Cat, also known as The Lord's Chosen Cat, or simply CC, is a real talking housecat that was zapped by god through the internet, giving him the knowledge to battle the evils of atheism and science worship with cold, hard, feline logic.

He owns a hideous human slave by the name of Vadim Newquist (as allowed by scripture) who people have accused of being CC himself.

Description

Creationist Cat is Hell Bound?!01:47

Creationist Cat is Hell Bound?!

Five of CC's videos have been featured on Drunken Peasants which were well-received by the audience so much that he earned a guest spot in one episode shortly after his third appearance.

CC has done interviews with Jaclyn Glenn and Anthony Fantano, who were both DP guests as well. He has also done a guest appearance on TheBibleReloaded. He also helped advertise a kickstarter for Adrien Grenier, and was going to be in a live hangout with Armoured Skeptic (only for Vadim to take his place as CC was busy).

CC's divinity was challenged by G Man on episode 121, G Man claimed that CC was never zapped by God.

History

According to Scotty, Creationist Cat once belonged to TJ before being zapped by god. It is unknown how they split up, but it is possible this is why TJ feels resentment towards CC.

Following the zapping, CC being to run a criminally undersubscribed YouTube channel where he lovingly refers to his viewers as "sodomites", and encourages them to the links in the description which he has dubbed 'Da Christ Box'.

On Drunken Peasants

Converting The Peasants

During the Q&A segment of episode 84, a question from Creationist Cat was played during the Q&A segment. The peasants were unaware that they were in the presence of the lords chosen cat. Ben accused CC's story of being "Church Of Gail shit", and the peasants argued about tacos during the video. Despite this, when CC asked if TJ renounced da religion of atheism, TJ, Ben, and Scotty all renounced and converted to Christianity.

Exposing TVC

"Here, he is enticing you to smoke a big fat doobie."
―Creationist Cat speaking the truth about the Vigilant Christian's hand gestures
The Drunken Peasants featured CC exposing The Vigilant Christian as the dirty fucking Satanist he truly is in the episode 97, using the same technique TVC uses to expose the proposed satanic Illuminati agenda in the entertainment industry.[1] Despite enjoying his video, TJ ordered that CC should be killed. CC's video was then taken down and flagged for "bullying" (and numerous mirrors of the video put up by other channels ensued). His video was later put up again after TVC stated that flagging the video was a violation of Freedom of Speech.

Owning TJ

CC made his second appearance in episode 106 that featured him pwning the TJ by attacking his most beloved hero, Marilyn Manson. TJ had defended Manson's strange performance on The Talking Dead in his vlog channel and CC proceeded to defeat the reasons TJ posed for Manson's incoherent babbling. This actually affected TJ personally to the delight of Ben and Scotty who wanted to get CC on the show when seeing this video.[2]

Guest Appearance

CreationistCat

CC explains why you're going to hell.

CC made his 3rd appearance on the 107th episode as a guest. He murdered TJ and challenged G Man to a rap battle. On April 27th, 2015 G Man confirmed the rap battle and that it will happen on the Drunken Peasants.

G Man Rap Battle

There was a legendary rap battle on the 121st episode where Creationist Cat completely owned G Man so much that he got 70% of the votes. G Man, however, refused to believe that he lost, and accused the voters of bias.

Grendel Kirk

Despite being members of different species, Creationist Cat is secretly in a homosexual interspecies relationship with Grendel Kirk. This is not known to the public, as Creationist Cat is able to hide this relationship by pretending to be sexually attracted to human women. When asked about this relationship, CC claimed he was only giving Grendel the Heimlich maneuver.

Kicking Darkmatter's Ass

Creationist Cat vs06:57

Creationist Cat vs. Darkmatter 2525

During a Creationist Cat chat episode, Darkmatter2525, the guest, disrespected CC and promptly got sent to Hell. Darkmatter was never heard from again, while CC stayed at Darkmatter's house in order to mark his new territory.

Brent Spiner

"Brent. Have sex with the cat!"
—Laurie McBride
During one of the days that Laurie McBride had drugged Brent Spiner, she told him to rape Creationist Cat. When Brent removed his pants, CC used his powers to blow up Brent's head. This interfered with Laurie's plans. After some thought, she decided to produce two clones of Brett Spiner, one who was inaccurate while the other was completely accurate. She then sent the accurate Brent to Gail. The Brent clone has since successfully infiltrated the church, undiscovered by any other members.

G Man

Creationist Cat and G Man decided to host a live charity event to raise money to cure triple AIDS. They tried to destroy AIDS with a super prayer, because G Man's prayers are 100% successful. However, it didn't work. G Man blamed CC for its failure because CC was talking about blasphemous stuff like the Virgin Mary's breasts.

This feud eventually lead to them officially scheduling a rap battle on June 19th, 2015 on the podcast. During the rap battle, Gman admitted to stealing and sleeping with Creationist Cat's mom, leading the Drunken Peasants to conclude that Gman is likely his father.  After the podcast, a vote was held and CC won by 70%.

Quotes

TouchedByGod

Magnificent art of CC being zapped by God, drawn by Todd Horvath.

  • "Miracle Whip IS NOT miraculous! Stop worshiping false idols people, especially if they come in a jar."
  • CC: "Do you hereby renounce da religion of atheism?"
    • TJ: "Yes"
    • Scotty: "Yes"
    • TJ: "Sure"[3]
  • "I'm young, single, and ready to ChristianMingle™!"[4]
  • "What is my body type? Oh, definitely washboard."[5]
  • "If God wanted your baby dead, he'd just kill it himself!" [6]
  • "I consumed a can of tuna, laced with catnip and PCP..."[7]
  • "Wow, you just made Peter Dinklage twirl around in your eyes!"[8]
  • "Halloween is a pagan-sodomite whore-fest of a holiday but if I did celebrate it I'd probably go as a sexy nurse..."[9]
  • "Thank god Jesus didn't have big boobs, I wouldn't be able to concentrate."[10]
  • "It's da freaking vaccines in your cats dat are causing dem to crap outside da litterbox, wake up America!!!"[11]
  • "Da second amendment should apply to cats too, I mean do you really think we'd be so skittish if we each had a gun???"[12]
  • "Da reason why dare are so few atheists in our prison systems is because they all escape with da help of their satanic science magic."[13]
  • "Science is a satanic left-wing conspiracy to brainwash people into believing things they have evidence for."[14]
  • "And Satan so hated the world that he gave it Smosh..."[15]
  • "I just realized dat "Take Me To Church" song is about gay dudes & da butt sex... Are there gay-butt-sex churches out dare now? I hope not."[16]
  • "Hey guys, just because of my species doesn't mean I agree with everything in the CATechism of da CATholic church."[17]
  • "Pat Robertson showed up to church yesterday wearing da same oversized Pharell hat as me. I was mortified."[18]
  • "Do NOT tax churches like regular businesses, God can't afford it!"[19]
  • "Creationism Should be taught in public schools"[2]
  • "People, there are dark evil internet forces that are teaming up with luciferian secret societies to establish supremacy through mind control, and a perfect example is chemtrails." [20]
  • "Legislators, please give us someone else to discriminate against!" - CC's speech after the tragedy of 6/26
  • "No, it only seems dat way because blacks have very bad luck. Dats why day always die first in da movies, because day just have really bad luck. Come on, everybody knows dish, dats why it's bad luck to let one cross your path..."[21]
  • "I use a My Little Kitty Fleshlight, thank you very much..." [22]

Trivia

Creationist Cat calls into the Atheist Experience!05:38

Creationist Cat calls into the Atheist Experience!

CC freakin' pwns Matt Dillacunty

  • He is the only person cat to ever defeat Matt Dillahunty in a debate.
  • According to Vladimir Putin's mistress, Creationist Cat is secretly a German Shepherd that works for the Muslim Brotherhood.
  • TVC has condemned the false-flagging of a video in which CC mocks The Vigilant Christian.[23]
  • Cult of Dusty is planning to do a crossover with him.[24]
  • He has said that, although many scientists have gone to hell, nobody has been able to fix the air conditioner down there, and nobody ever will be able to.[25]
  • He has said that atheists put kittens in their smoothies.[26]
  • He read this article from this very wiki on Episode 107. He protested to being affiliated with the Muslim Brotherhood and claimed that he was actually a shepherd of the lord working for the Christian Brotherhood. [27]
  • Creationist Cat was called out by G Man on air in Episode 115.[28]
  • He smokes on occasion.[29]
  • May have originally been a female.
  • He is a member of the Illuminati, and wants to keep that under raps.[30]
  • He hosted and event with G Man to destroy the AIDS.[31]
  • Satan is at his strongest on Halloween, according to him.[32]
  • The Illuminati sadly has no respect for the concept of consent when it comes to interactions with CC.[33]
  • Creationist Cat sometimes distributes free "Get out of Hell" cards, demonstrating his generosity.[34]
  • Only a few dogs go to Heaven, while the rest go to Hell, according to CC.[35] We can make an assumption from this that God is most likely not a dog-lover, or Creationist Cat has a prejudice against dogs, thinking most are sinister. This second option is the most plausible, as CC is a cat supremacist.[36][37][38] Then again, he has a direct contact with the lord, so it comes down to deciding whether CC chooses prejudice over knowledge.
  • Creationist Cat is a felinist[39][40][41], which explains how he became a cat supremacist.[42][43][44]
  • CC doesn't teach cats creationism.[45]
  • All cats are Christians, according to him.[46]
  • Dogs can go to Heaven to serve cats eternally in the afterlife, according to him.[47]
  • He is against immigration reform.[48]
  • Cats can scratch their faces very quickly because of Jesus Power, according to him.[49]
  • He is against abortion in most cases, and the cases where abortion is a must, humans have to eat the fetus, according to him.[50]
  • The lord is okay with his catnip addiction.[51]
  • Creationist Cat is racist.[52][53]
  • According to him, evolution is a satanic conspiracy.[54]
  • Satan has a cell phone number, according to him.[55]
  • Says gTime Johnny actually makes total sense to cats.
  • He is a demon expert.[56]
  • He has a crush on Joel Osteen.[57]
  • He gave a tag-team sermon with Kirk Cameron.[58]
  • CC has done a hangout with the Bible Reloaded for only Patreon guests of their channels.[59]
  • One of CC's videos was played on some show on Comedy Central.
  • CC's slave Vadim mistakenly referred to CC as "her" on the Drunken Peasants podcast, leading to rumors that Creationist Cat may be transgender.
  • CC's voice has a similar quality to American comedian, Gilbert Gottfried.
  • Has revealed the Illuminati many times.
  • Admitted during Episode 152 in the chat that he did 9/11.
  • Creationist Cat has a typing impediment

His theme song is also a huge hit:

Creationist Cat theme played by The Bicycling Guitarist00:27

Creationist Cat theme played by The Bicycling Guitarist

Gallery

  • Creationist Cat Ministries
  • SuperCC!!
  • A most unfortunate fate.
  • With Hugo and Jake.
  • Da Christ Box
  • BeyondPhere's depiction of Creationist Cat with a well-endowed woman. Being a cat has its perks.
  • Creationist Cat with Ray Comfort and Kirk Cameron at the scene of the legendary "banana" argument.Go to https://twitter.com/creationistcat/status/598954854552346624
  • BeyondPhere's drawing of G Man and Creationist Cat.
  • Creationist Cat changes things up a little.
  • CC's response to the discovery of his relationship with Grendel Kirk.
  • CC with Vadim
  • A symbol of his ministry

Appearances

External Links

References

  1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMEsYISKV-M
  2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dnn9o9nhd68
  3. https://youtu.be/vBuxXbEe0KQ?t=1m30s
  4. https://youtu.be/GQIeJCz0Wrs?t=8s
  5. https://youtu.be/GQIeJCz0Wrs?t=24s
  6. [1]
  7. https://youtu.be/Ogdmf0g86-o?t=1m3s
  8. https://youtu.be/Ogdmf0g86-o?t=1m37s
  9. http://tweetsave.com/creationistcat/status/124173308647325696
  10. http://tweetsave.com/creationistcat/status/490994247395733504
  11. http://tweetsave.com/creationistcat/status/562808507515543555
  12. http://tweetsave.com/creationistcat/status/500813928461791233
  13. http://tweetsave.com/creationistcat/status/469189094531428352
  14. http://tweetsave.com/creationistcat/status/468440570210557954
  15. http://tweetsave.com/creationistcat/status/496795451359002624
  16. http://tweetsave.com/creationistcat/status/549650402929807361
  17. http://tweetsave.com/creationistcat/status/458305878538469376
  18. http://tweetsave.com/creationistcat/status/457410096965103616
  19. http://tweetsave.com/creationistcat/status/491057506291310592
  20. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83Ax4yncDbc
  21. http://imgur.com/AWmk24y
  22. http://imgur.com/slgqoNE
  23. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iy3ZsfLA4qQ
  24. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7S2NeUdaTg
  25. http://tweetsave.com/creationistcat/status/472033674335371264
  26. http://tweetsave.com/creationistcat/status/464828137722105856
  27. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPJZVMIG8GA
  28. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=356Vlk_PMkI
  29. https://youtube.com/watch?v=GQIeJCz0Wrs?t=39s
  30. http://tweetsave.com/creationistcat/status/598537259575582720
  31. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yvdRq46nNIA
  32. http://tweetsave.com/creationistcat/status/131012869838995457
  33. http://tweetsave.com/creationistcat/status/600513168201404416
  34. http://tweetsave.com/creationistcat/status/573650609687105536
  35. http://tweetsave.com/creationistcat/status/526041266652725249
  36. http://tweetsave.com/creationistcat/status/602712169466167296
  37. http://tweetsave.com/creationistcat/status/576079437747212288
  38. http://tweetsave.com/creationistcat/status/575309065926144000
  39. http://tweetsave.com/ufailowell/status/593803776428888064
  40. http://tweetsave.com/creationistcat/status/534055355308068864
  41. http://tweetsave.com/creationistcat/status/603945610887200768
  42. http://tweetsave.com/creationistcat/status/602712169466167296
  43. http://tweetsave.com/creationistcat/status/576079437747212288
  44. http://tweetsave.com/creationistcat/status/575309065926144000
  45. http://tweetsave.com/creationistcat/status/580471819800571907
  46. http://tweetsave.com/creationistcat/status/574592789268291584
  47. http://tweetsave.com/creationistcat/status/544160796943847424
  48. http://tweetsave.com/creationistcat/status/535643969141870594
  49. http://tweetsave.com/creationistcat/status/522901534351560704
  50. http://tweetsave.com/creationistcat/status/504888624501235712
  51. http://tweetsave.com/creationistcat/status/603587643683799041
  52. http://archive.is/NoVd9
  53. http://tweetsave.com/creationistcat/status/603766139240456193
  54. http://tweetsave.com/creationistcat/status/506932915201388545
  55. http://tweetsave.com/creationistcat/status/377168719480246272
  56. http://tweetsave.com/creationistcat/status/496169766672162816
  57. http://tweetsave.com/creationistcat/status/523859097226326018
  58. http://tweetsave.com/creationistcat/status/356382621346967553
  59. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phlIZCHtFWs
AtheistRooSaga The Atheist Roo Saga
RooKKK
Disputers

Jaclyn GlennDrunken Peasants PodcastCreationist CatVadim NewquistTim BlackG Man

Episodes

125127151152155157198199

GmanSaga The G Man Saga
GManStarvingChild
Challengers

CultOfDustyThunderf00tJaclyn GlennJean-François GariépyCreationist Cat

Music

Atheist OwnedAtheists Pwned

Episodes

2021232527303144105107117118123126135140160
Guest: 282934363943697694100115121148176179201
Religion DebateReligion Debate 2

Other

Arguments

TheVigilantChristianSaga The Vigilant Christian Saga
MarioYoga
Challengers

The Drunken Peasants PodcastCreationist Cat Vegan Gains

Episodes

273335373840414446475160646771929497113120124125130135137143145147149154158160The New and Improved Drunken Peasants
Guest: 148150

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