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Climate Change

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Global warming effect

Trust me guys, this has nothing to do with global warming.

"Some say the world will end in fire / Some in ice"
Robert Frost on Climate Change

Climate Change is a giant hoax created by communist Jesus-hating scientists and liberals, the Climate Change Conspiracy is used to trick millions of people into buying electric cars and green T-shirts. Wild Bill and other conservative intellectuals have destroyed the hoax several times. If you're a republican, you're not allowed to believe in climate change.

Flawless Arguments Against Climate Change

  • Snow exists.
  • The Bible doesn't talk about it.
  • Money is more important than the environment and the continued successful existence of humanity.
  • It's cold outside - why do you call it global warming when it gets colder???
  • If global warming exists, why is there ice in my drink?

Your Carbon Footprint

Essentially, every human contributes to the global crisis (hoax), unless he or she:

  • Doesn't exhale
  • Doesn't inhale
  • Doesn't pass gas
  • Doesn't eat the meat of an animal that exhales or passes gas
  • Doesn't eat vegetables either--you know they give you gas
  • Doesn't cook anything
  • Doesn't travel anywhere in a car, truck, plane, or boat
  • Doesn't use electricity

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