- "Some say the world will end in fire / Some in ice"
- —Robert Frost on Climate Change
Climate Change is a giant hoax created by communist Jesus-hating scientists and liberals, the Climate Change Conspiracy is used to trick millions of people into buying electric cars and green T-shirts. Wild Bill and other conservative intellectuals have destroyed the hoax several times. If you're a republican, you're not allowed to believe in climate change.
Flawless Arguments Against Climate Change
- Snow exists.
- The Bible doesn't talk about it.
- Money is more important than the environment and the continued successful existence of humanity.
- It's cold outside - why do you call it global warming when it gets colder???
- If global warming exists, why is there ice in my drink?
Your Carbon Footprint
Essentially, every human contributes to the global crisis (hoax), unless he or she:
- Doesn't exhale
- Doesn't inhale
- Doesn't pass gas
- Doesn't eat the meat of an animal that exhales or passes gas
- Doesn't eat vegetables either--you know they give you gas
- Doesn't cook anything
- Doesn't travel anywhere in a car, truck, plane, or boat
- Doesn't use electricity