Capitalism (unregulated) is the only economic system that has ever worked. It was invented by God and Jesus, in collaboration with Ronald Reagan and The Founding Fathers.

Satan often tries to undermine capitalism, but it never succeeds. Satanists want socialism implemented, which of course leads to the destruction of morality itself.

In America

Capitalism is the American state religion and 90% of all Americans are evangelical capitalists who worship money. 100 dollar bills are placed upon altars where every CEO fuck prays five times towards the direction of Wall Street. Also, everyone prays to Geico to forgive them for their expenses because that Gecko died on a giant red-white-and-blue cross for us.

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.