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Asia-map

Asia is a the world's largest and most populated continent, located about 200 miles away from America. Asia is where Chinese food, pussy cars, and squinty-eye'd people come from...also really fucking weird commercials. The females look 20 when they are 40 and the males have tiny shlongs. Exceptions being Kim Jong Un and Bruce Lee. It's way too fucking big and somehow doesn't have enough space for all the people.

It's a little known fact that Asia is home to the dastardly, bastardly Mooslims in the Middle East. It also contains the Indian subcontinent, which is full of people who worship cow dung.

History

Asia, like much of the world, was once the white man's bitch with some of the continent being conquered by Europeans. Anything of value in India was pretty much stolen right under the noses of the Indian people by the evil Brits. Indochina got taken over by the French until they retreated and tried to get the US to do their fighting for them (sound familiar?) This led to the first war in human history in which US got totally rekt.

Also, China used to be about fancy dinnerware and fireworks but turned into an echo chamber of squinty-eyed communists. A while after that, The Korean Peninsula was split in half. One of the countries was the best in the eastern world and the other one was a shithole, we'll let you decide which is which.

Eurasia Myth

In a desperate attempt to become relevant in world politics. Some Asian people claim that Asia and Europe are actually one landmass, Eurasia. We all know this is impossible, as the white man is too amazing to be considered from the same landmass as these fucks. The myth was discussed by a nutjob on the show.

Countries

Trivia

  • Much of Russia is contained in Asia, although its culture and population is largely based in Europe.
  • It's the second worst continent to live in, next to Africa. This is because of the underwhelming amount of white people.
  • Many Asian countries are extremely xenophobic.
  • Asian people are commonly called chinks.

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