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Aaron Clarey

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"Let's say bipolar is a real thing and not a common and convenient excuse for really cunty bitchy women to be cunts and bitches to their boyfriends to play mind games, so they get that adrenaline rush."
—Can you tell he's an actual-misogynist pickup artist yet?
"DDDHHDHHDHHDHHDDDHDDD"
— Aaron Clarey, Professional Psychiatrist
Aaron Clarey (pronounced A-A-Ron), as known as The Captain, is a stupid libertarian knob-jockey who is sometimes featured on DP. He runs an online business called Asshole Consulting, wherein people pay him to give them shitty advice while being an utter douche because he thinks the gimmick of being an asshole is somehow original. He's also one of those shitty insanely far right conservatives that think all liberals are literally mentally retarded.

He's also a pickup artist in the same vain as Roosh V, as in an actual misogynist instead of the kind 90% of the readers of this article are labelled as by tumblr-feminists. Aside from the quote above, he has a lot of other strange views on women, like Roosh, seeing them more as vapid dick-holsters to seduce and fuck, rather than fellow human beings. He was the dumbass responsible for the so-called "MRA Boycott" of "Mad Max: Feminist Road" for daring to have a female do things instead of Mad Max in the film, even though side characters doing things instead of Max sorta happens in Mad Max movies already. Either way, he's not so much a Men's Rights Activist as a pretentious pickup artist that doesn't want to associate with MRA's because they're total parasite posers. Also due to the fact that the only rights he really gives a shit about are his own.

Bioshock Burial at Sea Episode 2 Kinescope "Sex Ed"01:15

Bioshock Burial at Sea Episode 2 Kinescope "Sex Ed"

How he fucks his wife... yes, he's married.

A common infantile tactic he uses in his videos if doing an impression of anybody that barely disagrees with him as a nasally whiny wiener. While he is - in his words - always right. People actually pay him a ridiculous amount of money just to answer their questions; often times ridiculing and insulting his own customers. He's so damn objectivist that he can't do something for free that countless other YouTubers have done for years before ad-sense and Patreon and he couldn't be a bigger douche about it. Basically his entire dogma, no matter what is a ridiculously unrealistic version of "fuck you, got mine" as in he believes that absolutely everyone that wants anything in life has to pay or work their asses off for it or fuck off and die, period. What about poor, elderly, young, uneducated, disabled or mentally unstable people? "Fuck you, got mine!"

On DP

"My sister majored in English, because she's a lazy cunt."
—How the hell is he married!?
In the first video they featured of his, he claimed that a lot of mental illnesses like autism were bullshit and the people who had them were faking it, and possibly trying to get attention. As well as schizophrenia "is an excuse for cunty bitches to act like cunty bitches" it explains so much about his smarmy attitude, especially towards women.

In his latest one, he claims that if the government can stop getting into people's business, free market capitalism can work. He also claimed that TJ hated capitalism and was wrong, stupid and insane.

Episodes Featured

Trivia

  • Recently, he got into an article on VICE for boycotting a movie. Couldn't have happened to a smarmier douche. [1]
  • His YouTube avatar is of the character Nicholas D. Wolfwood, a gunslinging Christian preacher, from the anime Trigun. At least he has a good taste in art.
  • He regularly and unironically uses the term parasite as a slur for any semi-liberal person trying to get a scrap of what they didn't earn. TJ just loves quoting Andrew Ryan every time he does.
  • He's basically Andrew Ryan from Bioshock's retarded great grandson with the voice of Richard Jeni, only much more nasally.
  • He is a pioneer of the Hitlerist movement.
  • He also doesn't know what the word "minorities" means, thinking it applies to black people and only black people in all situations no matter what. Making him the real life incarnation of Eric Cartman; just replace the hatred of jews with liberals.
  • He probably has the worst intro ever as well.
  • The Peasants said he was one of the biggest assholes they had on the show. It has yet to be determined if he has been surpassed by Vegan Gains or Devon Tracey yet.
  • Aaron has stated that he thinks TJ is an intelligent person, though TJ doesn't think the same of him.
  • He masturbates to a copy of Atlas Shrugged every single night, thinking himself as being king of the Randroids.
  • He uses the money he gets from his consulting videos to pay homeless men to say filthy, degrading things to him in truckstop bathrooms.
  • Aaron had to Adoped being a professional Cunt after Viagra destroyed his career as a porn fluffer

Gallery

Baaaeer-

Links

References

  1. https://archive.is/xGw0z

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